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讀后續寫中拓展策略的運用
【要點釋義】
續寫段落的首句拓展
如何寫好讀后續寫在高考中博取閱卷老師的眼球獲得夢寐以求的高分?如何讓學生的
作品在高考中脫穎而出獲得高分?這是很多老師和學生一直在不懈努力的課題。那么,讀后
續寫的開頭如何寫呢?可以使用哪些寫作技能和手法?我們知道,一個好的故事開頭就好比
是一堂成功的課的導入,能夠迅速抓住學生和老師們的興趣,并且愿意聽下去,跟著授課老
師的思路走。一個好的故事開頭就好比是■個帶著香味十足的誘餌,誘使讀者上鉤并且饒有
趣味地看完。而一個拙劣的故事開頭,定會讓讀者大倒胃口,恢恢欲睡。"wellbegunishalf
done!”可見,寫好一個好故事的好開頭是多么的重要。那么,在時間緊迫的考場上如何寫
出靚麗的開頭呢?我們可以從語法手段和寫作涉及的內容來探索。
【續寫段落的8種首句接話技巧】
1.用副詞顯現做出動作反應時的時間特征等
例如:
(2016.10浙江卷)Paral:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.
Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest.
【分析】用時間時間副詞承接所給首句中的“itgettingdarkagain”,同時銜接后文的環境描
寫“thedarknessruledtheforest”。副詞銜接自然、順暢。
2.用形容詞(短語)凸顯人物的情感情緒
例如:
(1)(2016.10浙江卷)Para1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.
Desperateandhopeless,Janekneltdown,tearsstreamingdownherface.
【分析】用形容詞短語“Desperateandhopeless”凸顯了人物的情緒狀態,與后面的動作“knelt
down”一起再現了情境中的人物的精神狀態。
(2)(2016.10浙江卷)Para2:ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Weakasshewas,she
struggledtoherfeet,continuingsearchingforassistance.
【分析】用“狀態形容詞+as/though引導的倒裝句”結構體現了人物早上起來后的精神狀態。
(3)(2018.06浙江卷)Para1:Suddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfrontofmyhorse.Afraid
thatImighthurtthelovelysmallcreature,Iautomaticallyletoutacrytostopmyhorse.
【分析】用“情緒形容詞+從句”結構闡釋了人物見到兔子后的心理反應。
(4)(2018.06浙江卷)Para2:Wehadnoideawherewewereanditgotdark.Exhaustedand
hungry,Iwonderedifwecouldfindourwayback.
【分析】用并列的表示心理狀態的形容詞,體現了人物心力交瘁的狀態。
3.用分詞(短語)體現人物的心理變化等
例如:
(1)(2016.10浙江卷)Paral:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.
Feelingdisappointed,Janehadtostayaloneforanothernight.
【分析】用“現在分詞+情緒形容詞”結構體現了人物失望的心理狀態。
(2)(2016.10浙江卷)Para2:ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Feelingrefreshed,she
continuedtowalkalongthestreamtofindthewayout.
【分析】用“現在分詞+狀態形容詞”結構傳遞了人物早上醒來后的精神狀態。
4.用直接引語增強情境效果
例如:
(2017.06浙江卷)Para1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim."Getintothecar."Paulshouted
atMac.
【分析】用含有祈使句的直接引語與首句提示中的“abruptlystopped”形成呼應,進一步烘
托了緊張的情境。
5.添加背景描寫以烘托場景
例如:
(2017.11浙江卷)Para2:Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongthe
way.Ilookedoutofthecarwindow,windingrivers,loftymountains,sunnybeachesanddeep
valleysholdingmeentirelyintheirfascination.
【分析】用“視覺+環境描寫+擬人修辭”結構與首句提示語中的“lotsofgreatsights”遙相
呼應,再現了美麗風景對視覺的沖擊效果。
6.引入新動作創造新的情境
例如:
(2017.11浙江卷)Para1:Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.
Dadexchangedaglancewithme.WhynotcamptosatisfyMom?
【分析】用“動作描寫+問句銜接”結構承接首句提示語創造了一個新的情境,即“露營”。
7.借助聲音效果增強描寫功效
例如:
BOOM,CRASH!Thewindwashowlingoutsideofmyhouse.Wewerehavingaterriblethunder
storm.Iwasveryscared.
【分析】用“howling”這一聲效進一步拓展了首句所設定的情境效果。
8.用疑問句引出新的話題或對事件的新的看法
例如:
Whydoestroublealwaysfollowmearound?DoIhavea“kickme”sigoonmybackor
something?
【分析】用一般疑問句承接首句的特殊疑問句,進一步凸顯了作者對“trouble”的看法。
故事沖突的預設與解決
讀后續寫首先力爭讀懂原文,找出記敘文的幾要素,找到故事情節中到底有什么沖突或
問題。然后讀懂需要續寫的兩段的首句,根據首句推測故事發展的走向和兩段的大致內容。
讀后續寫的文章屬于敘事類文體,大部分故事都是圍繞conflict(沖突)和solution(問題解
決)來運轉的,因此矛盾沖突在敘事類讀后續寫語篇中尤為重要。矛盾沖突的解決能推動故
事情節的發展。矛盾沖突分預設與解決技巧,可以幫助學生在基于篇章主題意義下更好地發
散思維,做到有話可說,有事可寫。同時,在學生創設矛盾沖突進行續寫的過程中,可以
聯系上文已有的故事沖突,提高故事的完整性和連貫性。學生掌握了矛盾沖突的基本寫作技
巧,有利于在續寫的故事創作中打開思路,提高語言的綜合運用能力。
【故事沖突的預設與解決的7個技巧】
技巧1:面對問題,人物產生的消極或積極情緒
【技巧舉例】
(2021年6月,浙江高考,Para.l)Thepaydayarrivedatlast!wasdelightedtofinallyget
thepaymentafterIworkedhardfortwoweeks.Onthewayhomefullofexcitement,Ithought
abouthowtomakeuseofthe"huge"sumofmoney.6<Ineededanewfootballinthefuture.9,I
whisperedtomyself.Approachingmyhouse,Inoticedmydadandmomstandingbesidetheold
truckofmyfamily,lookingsad.Itseemedasifsomethingwronghadhappened......
【分析】續寫第一段中的"Onthewayhomefullofexcitement表明了故事主人公心情非
常好,但是當面對新的問題“mydadandmomstandingbesidetheoldtruckofmyfamily,
lookingsad”時,故事主人公內心開始出現沖突與疑問,這就反映在"somethingwrong上
面。兩種心態的沖突描寫前后銜接自然、且恰到好處。
【用語儲備】
“感至U一陣”:feelaflushof...=feelawaveof...=feelafeeling/senseof...[joy(高興),
excitement(興奮),pride(驕傲),anger(憤怒),rage(狂怒),panic(驚慌),alarm(驚慌),terror(恐懼),
horror(恐懼),fear(恐懼),unease(不安),sorrow(悲傷),sadness(悲傷),grief(悲傷),
embarrassment(尷尬),disappointment(失望),shame(羞愧),guilt(愧疚)]。
例如:Shefeltawaveofpanic,butforcedherselftoleavetheroomcalmly.
她感到一陣驚慌,但是強迫自己鎮靜地離開了房間。
技巧2:面對復雜的情境,人物產生急迫/復雜的心理
【技巧舉例】
(2021年1月,浙江高考,Para.2)ThevideowaspostedonlinetheMondaybefore
Halloween.llookedjustlikeapumpkinheadinit.Embarrassedandalittleannoyed,Ifledtomy
room,butMomstoppedme."Youhaven'treadthecommentsyet.^^Iscrolleddownthescreenand
marveledatthestoriestheviewerssharedaboutHalloween.
【分析】續寫第二段首句提示語提供了一個新的情境,即“Thevideowaspostedonline”,
這讓故事主人公內心沖突加劇(Embarrassedandalittleannoyed),但當聽力母親的話之后,
主人公開始閱讀網上的評論,這又將主人公引向另一情境,結果主人公內心又起了變化
(marveled)。情境的不斷變換,加劇了故事主人公內心的矛盾沖突的不斷變換。
【用語儲備】
(1)心里想:think/saytooneself
(2)害怕;恐'慌:withfear/panic/terror;tremble;shiver;shake;quake;tremblewithfear;be
seizedwithpanic;screamwithpanic/terror;freeze/shakewithterror
(3)生氣;‘憤怒:withrage;bered-cheekedwithrage;tremble/shakewithrage;feellikecrying
withrage;bespeechlesswithrage;beboilingwithrage
(4)興奮;激動:withexcitement;yellwithexcitement;jumpupanddownwithexcitement;
screamwithexcitement;gowildwithexcitement
(5)悲傷;流淚:Tearsblurredone'seyes.淚水模糊了她的雙眼。/One'seyesgotmisty.一個
人的眼睛都模糊了。/One'seyesmisted/dimmedwithtears.淚眼模糊。/tearsrolldownone'seyes
/cheeks/face淚水落下
技巧3:面對他人的行為或行動,人物展開了新的動作/行為
【技巧舉例】
(2021年,新高考I卷,Para.2)77zetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmother
up.Whentheirmothersawthedeliciousandperfectbreakfastinfrontofher,shewasvery
surprised.Itwasnotonlythegift,buttheloveofthechildrenforherthatmovedherverymuch.
Thetwochildrencouldfinishcookingabreakfast,whichshedidn'texpect.Thechildrensaid
loudly,“HappyMother,sDay!”Motherhuggedthemtightlyandkissedthemagainandagain.
【分析】續寫第二段中,當雙胞胎叫醒母親(woketheirmotherup)后,母親的動作首先有
“saw”和“wasverysurprised”,之后在雙胞胎發出節日問候“HappyMother'sDay”時,母
親的動作有“hugged”和“kissed”。這種“動作主動應對”模式在休息的故事情節沖突拓展
過程中是比較重要的,因為動作上的變化往往承載了人物對情節中的矛盾沖突的回應模式及
態度。
【用語儲備】
(1)常用詞語:openone'smouth;widenone'seyes;risetoone'sfeet;jumptoone'sfeet;shoutat
thetopofone'slung;reachout(伸出手)
(2)常用句式:如:Havingpassedtheexam,hewassohappythathewasatalosswhattodo.通
過考試后,他非常高興,不知所措。
Sheopenedthegiftwithherhandsshakingslightly.她用輕微顫抖的手打開了禮物。
技巧4:人物沉浸在某一情境中,于是出現了新問題
【技巧舉例】
(2018年6月,浙江高考,Para.lySuddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfrontofmyhorse.My
horseturnedtothelefttoavoidthelittlerabbitasIheldontightlyandtriednottofall.Thenmy
dadturnedaroundandshouted,"'Holdon!^^Allofasuddenthehorsebegantonm.Mydadtriedto
keepupbehindus.Forafewminutesmyhorsesloweddowntoatrotandthenstoppedbesidea
river.Ilookedaroundandrealizedthatwewerewayoffthetrack.
【分析】續寫第一段首句承接源語篇提供了一個新的情境,即"rabbitjumpedout",從而引
發了馬與人的一系列的避險動作,并且馬由于受驚而奔跑起來,最終將主人公帶入了另一個
困境,即“wewerewayoffthetrack”。
【用語儲備】
(1)不幸的是(unfortunately)
Butbadluckforsb,...但是某人真不走運
Shetriedherbest,butinvain.她盡力了,但沒有成功。
(2)某人做了某事,不知道下一步該做什么。
Sbdidsth,wonderingwhattodonext.
Sbdidsth,notknowingwhattodonext.
技巧5:情況好轉或情境向好,人物突然有了一個想法
【技巧舉例】
(2020年7月,浙江高考,Para.2)Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.Myheartleaped
withjoyasIknewwewerelikelytobesaved.EUiusedpeppersprayagaintobuyusenoughtime.
Butthistimethebearbecamemorealert.Heregardeduswiththemercilessnecessityofhunger,
sowethrowallthefoodwehave.Hethenturnedawayandstarteddevouring.Aswewere
climbingtheropeladder,Elliprayedlikethousandtimestoshowthankfulnessofbeingsafeand
sound.
【分析】續寫第二段首句預設了一個新的情境“thehelicopterarrived",于是故事主人公的心
情好轉(Myheartleapedwithjoy),并且當再次遇到熊的攻擊時,主人公就又有了新的想法
(wethrowallthefoodwehave),這將故事的沖突與發展帶到另一個情境中;此外,當獲救
后,主人公又開始感謝(Elliprayedlikethousandtimestoshowthankfulnessofbeingsafeand
sound)o可見,用新的想法接續“情況好轉”可以充分展現人物對整個事件的回應過程中的
特寫鏡頭。
【用語儲備】
“某人突然想到...”:Itsuddenlyoccurredtosbthat...=Ithitsbthat...二Itstrucksbthat...=It
dawnedonsbthat...
技巧6:面對他人的鼓勵/激勵/幫助等,人物找到了解決辦法
【技巧舉例】
(2017年6月,浙江高考,Para.2)Afewminuteslater,theother加。cyclistsarrived.They
foundthedangeroussituation,wherethreemencircledthewolf.Mac'sfriendsalsojumpedoff
theirbicyclesandjoinedthefightwiththewolf.Moreandmorecarsstopped.Somedriverstook
outthesticksfromthecars,andsometookouttheknives,eventhegunstowardsthewolf.Inthe
meanwhile,thewolfmightfeelthepeople'sthreatsaround,soitbegantostepbackslowly.Soon,
itranawayofftheroadanddisappearedinthedistance.
【分析】續寫第二段首句提示給出了來幫忙的人(theothertwocyclistsarrived),之后又
不斷有人加入(Mac'sfriendsalsojumpedofftheirbicycles/Moreandmorecarsstopped),故事
中的人物有了一系列與狼對抗的動作,如“circledthewolf”“tookoutthesticksfromthecars”
“tookouttheknives”等,這些將故事中人狼對峙的沖突進一步推向高潮。
【用語儲備】
(1)鼓起勇氣(做某事):take/gather/one'scourage(todosth)
(2)毫不猶豫/選擇:withoutasecondthought/withoutdelay/withouthesitation/havingnochoice
技巧7:獲得新的成長,人物開始總結、點題并呼應前文
【技巧舉例】
(2022年1月,浙江卷,Para.2)OnedayIgotwordthathewasadmittedtohospitalfora
seriousdisease.IfeltsosorrytohearthatandIthoughtIshouldvisithiminanycase.Hewasa
littlesurprisedtoseemewhenIsteppedintohiswardwithsomeflowersandfruits.Iofferedtodo
therestworkofourprojectandheinvitedmetosharemyideastoperfectit.Webegantoworkas
afineteamandfinallyfinishedourprojectontime.OurhardworkpaidoffandDr.Henderson's
wasverysatisfiedwithourwonderfulfindings.Fromthisproject,wealsolearnedthesignificance
ofteammates.Justasthesayinggoes,onepersoncangofar,butagroupofpersonscantravel
farther.
【分析】續寫第二段中主人公最后發現能與隊友和諧相處并最終完成了項目(Webeganto
workasafineteamandfinallyfinishedourprojectontime),這引發了主人公的反響,并且主
人公的這種體驗不斷地深入(從“wealsolearnedthesignificanceofteammates”到"agroupof
personscantravelfarther"),充分展現了主人公內心的矛盾沖突從不斷激化到出現轉機、再
到一步步迎刃而解的過程。
【用語儲備】
(1)直到……才意識到……
倒裝句:Notuntil...didsbrealize/noticethat...
強調句:Itwasonly...thatsbrealizedthat...
(2)表達經歷與教訓
WhatavaluablelessonIhavelearnedfrom...!我從...中得到了寶貴的教訓。
Whatanunforgettableexperience!多么難忘的經歷啊!
(3)結尾點題
Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves.天助自助者。
Everyoneisthearchitectofhisownfate.每個人都是自己命運的建筑師。
Lifeisfulloflaughterandtears.Onlybyacceptingbothcanweenjoylife.生命就是充滿歡
笑和淚水的。只有同時接受兩者,我們才能享受生活。
Neverunderestimatethepowerofyouraction.永遠不要低估你的行為的力量。
【提升練習】
1.(2024.黑龍江哈爾濱.模擬預測)閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,
使之構成一篇完整的短文。
ItwasabrightandsunnySaturdaywhenMr.Jonesmovedinnextdoor.Heisanold
gentlemanwiththick-framedglassesandawirybeard.Icouldseehismanybelongings:antique
chests,alargeandtattered(破敗的)paintingofarainforest,andboxesandboxesofoldbooks.
Thelineofmoversbringingitemsintothehousewasendless!However,therewasoneitemthat
Mr.Jonesrefusedtoletthemoverstouch.Itwascoveredinaredvelvetclothandhecarefully
carrieditinsidehimself.
Thatnight,IheardanoddnoisecomingfromMr.Jones9shouse.Itwassuchastrangenoise
thatIcouldnotsleepatall!Tomyastonishmentandanxiety,everynightthestrangesoundwould
comeup.Aftermuchconsideration,Idecidedtoinvestigatethismystery.Iwonderedwhaton
earthMr.Joneswas?Whatcouldthisstrangenoisebe?Whatcouldhebehiding?Manydoubts
alwaysechoedinmymind.
Thenextday,toconfirmmyguess,Islidintohishouse.Mr.Joneshadleftthewindowof
hisbasementunlockedandIcrawledinsidewithoutpermission.Makingseveralattempts,Imade
it!IfeltaroundthewallsforalightswitchandwhenIfinallyturnedthelighton,Iwasamazed!
Thebasementwaslikeamuseum.Thereweremanyexquisitejunglesandanimals'models
whichwereoftenseeninmuseums.Onthebookshelfweresomeacademicbooksaboutzoo
animals.Ialsonoticedsomeremainingcornsinthecomer.WhenIglancedatthetable,therewas
afirst-aidkitonit!Determinedtofindoutthetruth,IwasmakingmywayacrosstheroomwhenI
heardthatstrangenoiseagain,comingfromupstairs!Nervously,Iwalkedupthestairsasquietly
asIcouldbutthenonthelaststep...thefloorbeneathmyfootcreaked(嘎吱作口向)!Ipaused,
hopingnoonewashometohearme.
注意:
1.續寫詞數應為150左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。
Suddenly,thedooropenedandtherestoodMr.Jonesstaringrightatme.
AndthenintheotherroomIsawit-alargecuteparrotinadelicategoldcage!
【參考范文】
Suddenly,thedooropenedandtherestoodMr.Jonesstaringrightatme.Hiseyeswerewide
withsurprise,buttherewasatwinkleofamusementinthem."Ah,mynewneighbor,“hesaid,his
voicewarmandinviting.waswonderingwhenwe'dmeet.^^Hegesturedformetofollowhim,
andIhesitantlysteppedinside.a4Iapologizefortheintrusion,1stammered,feelingabit
embarrassed.t6Iwasjust...curiousaboutthenoise.^^
Andthen,intheadjacentroom,1sawit-amagnificentparrotwithfeathersofemeraldand
gold.Itsquawkedandfluttered,thesoundechoingthroughthehouse."Thisisthemystery,9,Mr.
Jonessaid,atwinkleinhiseye."Myparrot,wholovestosingatnight.^^Reliefwashedovermeas
Irealizedthestrangenoisewasjustabird,andMr.Joneswasjustamanwithafondnessforthe
unusual.
【寫作分析】本文以Mr.Jones的神秘行為為線索,講述了作者對新鄰居的好奇和探索。Mr.
Jones在搬家時帶來了許多古董和書籍,并且有一個被紅絨布覆蓋的物品引起了作者的注意。
晚上,作者聽到了Mr.Jones家中傳來的奇怪噪音,這激發了作者的好奇心,決定去調查這
個謎團。
【要點解析】1.段落續寫:
①由第一段首句內容“突然,門開了,Mr.Jones站在那里直視著我。”可知,第一段可以描
寫作者在Mr.Jones家中被逮個正著的尷尬場景,以及Mr.Jones對作者的友好反應。
②由第二段首句內容“然后,在另一個房間里我看到了它一一只在精美金籠里的大而可愛
的鸚鵡!”可知,第二段可以描寫作者在Mr.Jones家中發現了噪音的來源,即一只美麗的鸚
鵡。這解開了作者心中的謎團。
2.續寫線索:被逮個正著——友好反應——發現鸚鵡——噪音來源
3.詞匯激活:
行為類
①逮個正著:caughtred-handed/caughtintheact
②發現:discover/find
③友好反應:friendlyresponse/warmreaction
④闖入:intrude/breakin
情緒類
①吃驚:surprise/astonishment
②尷尬的:embarrassed/awkward
③好奇的:curious/inquisitive
④寬慰:relief/comfort
[高分句型1】"Ah,mynewneighbor,9,hesaid,hisvoicewarmandinviting.(運用了獨立主格
結構)
【高分句型2】“Iapologizefortheintrusion,9,1stammered,feelingabitembarrassed.(運用了現
在分詞作狀語)
[高分句型3】Itsquawkedandfluttered,thesoundechoingthroughthehouse.(運用了獨立主
格結構)
2.(2024.山東濟寧.三模)閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,使之構
成一篇完整的短文。
Centeringmyselfontheiceoftheskatingrink(溜冰場),Ipreparedformyskating
performance.Aconfidentsmilespreadacrossmyface.ThiswasthedayI'dperformmybest
skatinginayear,attemptingachallengingjumpknownastheaxel(前外一周半跳).Myfriend
Calebyelledfromthestands,atYoucandoit,Harper!Myotherfriendscrossedtheirfingers.My
dadalsoshouted,4tYoulookbeautiful!?,
Asthemusicstarted,Iwasfullyprepared.Withagracefulcircle,spins,andabroadsmile,I
beganmyperformance.EverythingprogressedsmoothlyuntilIreachedthecrucialaxeljump.AsI
preparedtojump,suddenlyamixofexcitementandnervesfilledme.Tobefrank,Icoulddoit
whenIpracticedoff-ice,butI'donlylandediton-iceseveraltimesinmyentirelife.Mycoach
hadstrategicallyplaceditatthestartofmyroutinetoensuremylegswereattheirpeakforthis
demandingmove.
Itooktheleap,butperformedadistinctjump.Itwasamerehalf-circle,fallingshortofthe
axel'soneandahalf.Iheardmyfriendssighandsawmycoachraiseaneyebrow.
Determined,Iattemptedtheaxelagain,butfailed.Irepeatedlytriedandfailed,spendingso
muchtimeontheice.Whenmyroutineended,mydresswaswetandIwasfarbehindthebeat.
Thesilencewasdeafening,markingthemostembarrassingmomentsofmyskatingcareer.AsI
skatedaway,Icouldsensetheweightofeveryone'sstareuponme.
AsImademywaytomycoachanddad,IheardthecrowdcheeringforMarlo,acharming
eight-year-old,whowasgracefullyskatingpastme,leavingmewithanintensesensethatmy
skatingcareerhadcometoanend.
Mycoachhandedmemyskateguards,askingifIwasimprovising(即興創作)myroutine.
Ididn'tknowhowtoreply.Myfriendswereembarrassedforme,avoidingmyeyes.Theyseemed
todiscussmeexceptCaleb,myclosefriend.Hebroughtmehotchocolateandapologizedbefore
skatinghisownroutine.
注意:
1.續寫詞數應為150個左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。
Ifeltanurgetogohome,butmydadinsistedwewaitfortheresults.
WithdoubtIreturnedontotheskatingrinkthenextmorning.
【參考范文】
Ifeltanurgetogohome,butmydadinsistedwewaitfortheresults.Heremindedmethat
everyskaterhastheirupsanddowns,andthatifsthecouragetocontinuethatdefinesus.Despite
thedisappointment,Istayed,andwhentheresultswereannounced,Ihadplacedthird.Itwasn't
thevictoryIhadenvisioned,butitwasavictorynonetheless-atestamenttoperseveranceand
hardwork.
Withdoubt,Ireturnedontotheskatingrinkthenextmorning.Theicewascoldand
unforgiving,mirroringmyemotions.ButasIlacedupmyskates,Ifeltarenewedsenseof
determination.Istartedwiththebasics,focusingonmybalanceandthestrengthofmylegs.Each
timeIfell,Igotbackupandtriedagain.Mycoachwasthere,offeringwordsofencouragement
andtechnicaladvice.Bytheendofthesession,Iwasn'tperfect,butIwasbetter.Iknewtheroad
tomasteringtheaxelwasstilllong,butIwasreadytofacethechallengehead-on.
【寫作分析】本文是一篇讀后續寫,以人物為線索展開,講述了哈珀在溜冰場上準備進行一
場重要的滑冰表演,嘗試完成一個高難度的阿克塞爾跳。盡管在表演中多次嘗試失敗,感到
尷尬和沮喪,但在朋友和家人的鼓勵下,她決定不放棄,第二天回到溜冰場繼續練習,決心
克服挑戰。
【要點解析】1.段落續寫:
①由第一段首句內容“我有一種想要回家的沖動,但我爸爸堅持讓我們等待結果。”可知,第
一段可以描寫哈珀在父親的鼓勵下堅持等待比賽結果,以及最終獲獎的感受。
②由第二段首句內容“帶著懷疑,第二天早晨我回到了溜冰場。”可知,第二段可以描寫哈珀
第二天回到溜冰場,盡管心中充滿懷疑,但仍然決心繼續努力,從基礎開始練習。
2.續寫線索:想要回家——父親鼓勵——等待結果——獲獎—第二天回到溜冰場——決
心練習——從基礎開始——逐步提高
3.詞匯激活
行為類
①回家:gohome/retumhome
②等待:waitfor/await
③練習:practice/exercise/train
④嘗試:attempt/try/endeavor
情緒類
①失望:disappointment/letdown
②懷疑:doubt/skepticism/hesitation
③決心、:determination/resolve/decision
④激動:excited/thrilled/elated
[高分句型1]Heremindedmethateveryskaterhastheirupsanddowns,andthatit'sthecourage
tocontinuethatdefinesus.(運用了that引導的賓語從句作reminded的賓語)
[高分句型2]Istartedwiththebasics,focusingonmybalanceandthestrengthofmylegs.(運用
了現在分詞短語focusingon...作狀語)
[高分句型3]Mycoachwasthere,offeringwordsofencouragementandtechnicaladvice.(運用
了現在分詞作伴隨狀語)
3.(2024.江西南昌.三模)閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,使之構
成一篇完整的短文。
SamanthaandJakehadalwaysbeenclosetonature.Growingupinasmallcottagesituated
deepwithinathrivingforest,theyfoundcomfortandwonderinthebeautyofthenaturalworld.
Theirdailyadventuresincludedexploringthewoods,listeningtothebirdsong,andgazingatthe
starrynightsky.However,astheyearspassed,theycouldn'thelpbutnoticethegradualchanges
intheirbelovedforest.
BythetimeSamanthaturnedsixteenandJakewasthirteen,theybegantowitnessthe
effectsofdeforestationontheirwonderland.Thesoundofchainsaws(電鋸)andthesightoffallen
treesbecameincreasinglycommon.Thesiblingswerefeelingextremelyshockedandsadbythe
lossoftheforesttheyhadcherishedsincechildhood.
Oneday,afteraparticularlydishearteningwalkthroughthedecreasingwoods,Samantha
cameacrossabookaboutenvironmentalheroes.Theseindividualshaddevotedtheirlivesto
preservingthenaturalworld,andtheirstoriesofresilience('恢復力)andimpactlightedaspark
withinSamantha'sheart.Shebelievedthatiftheycouldmakeadifference,socouldsheandJake.
Samanthacouldn'twaittosharehernew-foundinspirationwithherbrother.Sherushed
home,hermindfilledwithideasofhowtheycouldprotecttheirforest.Whensheexplainedher
thoughtstoJake,henoddedinagreement.ctOurforestislikefamilytous,“hesaid,“Wecan'tjust
standbyandwatchitdisappear.46
Withfirmdetermination,SamanthaandJakedecidedtotakeaction.Theybeganby
organizingtree-plantingeventsintheircommunity,enlisting(征募)thehelpoffriendsand
neighbors.Eachsaplingtheyplantedwasasymbolofhopeforthefutureoftheirforest.
Soon,theireffortsgainedfavor.Thelocalschoolsjoinedtheircause,incorporating
environmentaleducationintothecurriculumandthecommunityunitedbehindthem.Samantha
andJake'sforestrestorationprojecthadbecomeamovementthatunitedpeopleofallages.
注意:
1.續寫詞數應為150左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。
Monthspassed,andtheonce-thinningforestbegantoshowsignsofrecovery.
Oneday,alocalnewsstationreachedouttoSamanthaandJake.
【參考范文】
Monthspassed,andtheonce-thinningforestbegantoshowsignsofrecovery.Thetreesthey
hadplantedgrewstrongerandtaller.SamanthaandJakeinitiatededucationalprograms,inviting
localschoolsandnatureenthusiaststoexploretheforestandlearnaboutitsfragileecosystem.The
morepeopleunderstoodthesignificanceoftheforest,themoretheyjoinedthecause.Thelocal
governmenttookconservationmeasures,too.Onesunnyafternoonafterseveralmonths,tears
welledupinSamantha'seyesassheturnedtoJakeandsaid,“Lookatwhatwe'veaccomplished,
Jake.Ourforestisthrivingonceagain.”
Oneday,alocalnewsstationreachedouttoSamanthaaandJake.Theywereinvitedforan
interviewtosharetheirstory,thechallengestheyfaced,andtheiradviceforyoungpeople
wantingtoprotecttheenvironment.6tIfsthepowerofunityandsharedlovefornaturethatkeep
usgoing,“Samanthasaidduringtheinterview,withJakenoddinginagreementbesideher.
SamanthaandJakehadbecometheheroesoftheirforest,provingthatdeterminationandadeep
bondtonaturecouldinspirepositivechange,abondworthprotectingforgenerationstocome.
【寫作分析】本文以Samantha和Jake保護森林為線索展開,講述了他們從小親近自然,
目睹森林遭破壞后,受環保英雄事跡啟發決定行動起來,通過組織植樹活動等努力讓森林逐
漸恢復的故事。
【要點解析】1.段落續寫:
①由第一段首句內容“幾個月過去了,曾經逐漸稀疏的森林開始顯示出恢復的跡象。”可知,
第一段可描寫森林在他們的努力下逐漸恢復生機,以及他們開展的教育項目和取得的更多成
果。
②由第二段首句“有一天,當地一家新聞電視臺聯系上了Samantha和Jake。”可知,第二
段可描寫他們接受采訪,分享經歷和感悟,以及他們最終成為森林的英雄。
2.續寫線索:森林恢復一開展教育活動一政府參與一接受采訪一分享故事一成為
英雄
3.詞匯激活
行為類
①開始顯示:begintoshow/starttodisplay
②邀請:invite/extendaninvitation
③點頭同意:nodinagreement/giveconsentbynodding
情緒類
①感動得流淚:tearswellup/bemovedtotears
②愛:love/fondness/affection
[高分句型1]SamanthaandJakeinitiatededucationalprograms,invitinglocalschoolsandnature
enthusiaststoexploretheforestandlearnaboutitsfragileecosystem.(運用了現在分詞短語作狀
語、動詞不定式短語做目的狀語)
[高分句型2]It'sthepowerofunityandsharedlovefornaturethatkeepusgoing(運用了強調句
結構)
4.(2024.湖南長沙.模擬預測)閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,使
之構成一篇完整的短文。
Ninnygrewupwithhergrandparents.Hergrandmotherworkedasahousekeeper,andher
grandfatherwastooweaktomove.Inhiswheelchair,Grandfathertoldherstoriesaboutflowers,
princessesandsunrises.Thosestoriesalwaysendedwiththesamemessage:Asimpleactof
kindnesscreatesanendlessripple(漣漪)thatcomesbacktoyou.
Oneday,Ninnywasatthesupermarketwithhergrandmother.Theyonlyboughtthebare
minimum.tcOh!^^Ninnyjumpedwhenshespottedachocolatecake.Shepulledhergrandmother's
sleeve."Grandfather'sbirthdayisaroundthecomer!Canweplease,please,pleasehaveit?”The
oldladyeyedthechocolatecake.Therewerebeautifuldecorationsonthetopwithfancydesigns
ontheside.Pickingupthecake,Grandmothertookacloselookatthepriceandsighed,“Ninny,
wecan'taffordit.Ifs$40!”
Ninnypouted(噴嘴),tryingtoconvincehergrandmother.Yetsheknewthather
grandmotherwouldnotbend,evenifshebeggedwithherpuppyeyes.Nomatterwhat,moneydid
notgrowontrees.Ninnysighedandturnedaround.Grandmothergaveherasadsmileandturned
towardsthecashier.
Almostoutofnowhere,amanwitha50dollarbillandthechocolatecakeapproachedher
andhandedthesethingstoNinny."Havethem,dear.^^
Ninnytookacloserlookattheman.Hewasaverage.Averageface,averageclothes,and
averageeverything.Hewasjustarandomman.
ThemanbentdownandmaintainedeyecontactwithNinny.4tDoyouknowwhyI'mgiving
youthese?”Ninnyshookherhead.t4WhenIwasalittleboy,amanboughtmeachocolatecake.
HejustoverheardaconversationIhadwithmymother.Nothingelse.Hegavemesomemoney
andasmallslipofpaper.ThenheThemanreachedintohispocketandtookoutadog-eared
pieceofpaper.Lookingatthewordswritten,Ninnyworeasmileonherface,forshewasso
familiarwiththemessage.
注意:
1.續寫詞數應為150左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。
Ninnyhuggedthedollarbill,cakeandthepieceofpapertoherchest.
Grandfather^eyeswidened,ctYouwon'tbelieveit!^^
【參考范文】
Ninnyhuggedthedollarbill,cakeandthepieceofpapertoherchest.Astheywalkedback
home,shecouldn'thelpbutreadthemessageonthepaperagainandagain:"
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