..THEFOURTHOFJULYAudreLorde1 ThefirsttimeIwenttoWashingtonD.C.wasontheedgeofthesummerwhenIwassupposedtostopbeingachild.Atleastthat'swhattheysaidtousallatgraduationfromtheeighthgrade.MysisterPhyllisgraduatedatthesametimefromhighschool.Idon’tknowwhatshewassupposedtostopbeing.Butasgraduationpresentsforusboth,thewholefamilytookaFourthofJulytriptoWashingtonD.C.,thefabledandDetailedReading2 ItwasthefirsttimeI'deverbeenonarailroadtrainduringtheday.WhenIwaslittle,andweusedtogototheConnecticutshore,wealwayswentatnightonthemilktrain,becauseitwascheaper.3. Preparationswereintheairaroundourhousebeforeschoolwasevenover.Wepackedforaweek.Thereweretwoverylargesuitcasesthatmyfathercarried,andaboxfilledwithfood.Infact,myfirsttriptoWashingtonwasamobilefeast;Istartedeatingassoonaswewerecomfortablyensconcedinourseats,anddidnotstopuntilsomewhereafterPhiladelphia.IrememberitwasPhiladelphiabecauseIwasdisappointednottohavepassedbytheLibertyBell.4. Mymotherhadroastedtwochickensandcutthemupintodaintybite-sizepieces.Shepackedslicesofbrownbreadandbutter,andgreenpepperandcarrotsticks.Therewerelittleviolentlyyellowicedcakeswithscallopededgescalled"marigolds,"thatcamefromCushman'sBakery.Therewasaspicebunandrock-cakesfromNewton's,theWestIndianbakeryacrossLenoxAvenuefromSt.Mark'sschool,andicedteainawrappedmayonnaisejar.Thereweresweetpicklesforusanddillpicklesformyfather,andpeacheswiththefuzzstillonthem,individuallywrappedtokeepthemfrombruising.And,forneatness,therewerepilesofnapkinsandalittletinboxwithawashclothdampenedwithrosewaterandglycerineforwipingstickymouths.5. IwantedtoeatinthediningcarbecauseIhadreadallaboutthem,butmymotherremindedmefortheumpteenthtimethatdiningcarfoodalwayscosttoomuchmoneyandbesides,younevercouldtellwhosehandshadbeenplayingalloverthatfood,norwherethosesamehandshadbeenjustbefore.MymothernevermentionedthatBlackpeoplewerenotallowedintorailroaddiningcarsheadedsouthin1947.Asusual,whatevermymotherdidnotlikeandcouldnotchange,sheignored.Perhapsitwouldgoaway,deprivedofherattention.6. IlearnedlaterthatPhyllis'shighschoolseniorclasstriphadbeentoWashington,butthenunshadgivenherbackherdepositinprivate,explainingtoherthattheclass,allofwhomwerewhite,exceptPhyllis,wouldbestayinginahotelwherePhyllis"wouldnotbehappy,"meaning,Daddyexplainedtoher,alsoinprivate,thattheydidnotrentroomstoNegroes."Westilltakeamong-youtoWashington,ourselves,"myfatherhadavowed,"andnotjustforanovernightinsomemeaslyfleabaghotel."7. InWashingtonD.C.,wehadonelargeroomwithtwodoublebedsandanextracotforme.Itwasaback-streethotelthatbelongedtoafriendofmyfather'swhowasinrealestate,andIspentthewholenextdayafterMasssquintingupattheLincolnMemorialwhereMarianAndersonhadsungaftertheD.A.R.refusedtoallowhertosingintheirauditoriumbecauseshewasBlack.Orbecauseshewas"Colored",myfathersaidashetoldusthestory.Exceptthatwhatheprobablysaidwas"Negro",becauseforhistimes,myfatherwasquiteprogressive.8. IwassquintingbecauseIwasinthatsilentagonythatcharacterizedallofmychildhoodsummers,fromthetimeschoolletoutinJunetotheendofJuly,broughtaboutbymydilatedandvulnerableeyesexposedtothesummerbrightness.9. IviewedJulysthroughanagonizingcorollaofdazzlingwhitenessandIalwayshatedtheFourthofJuly,evenbeforeIcametorealizethetravestysuchacelebrationwasforBlackpeopleinthiscountry.10. Myparentsdidnotapproveofsunglasses,noroftheirexpense.11. Ispenttheafternoonsquintingupatmonumentstofreedomandpastpresidenciesanddemocracy,andwonderingwhythelightandheatwerebothsomuchstrongerinWashingtonD.C.,thanbackhomeinNewYorkCity12. LatethatWashingtonafternoonmyfamilyandIwalkedbackdownPennsylvaniaAvenue.Wewereapropercaravan,motherbrightandfatherbrown,thethreeofusgirlsstep-standardsin-between.Movedbyourhistoricalsurroundingsandtheheatofearlyevening,myfatherdecreedyetanothertreat.Hehadagreatsenseofhistory,aflairforthequietlydramaticandthesenseofspecialnessofanoccasionandatrip.13. "Shallwestopandhavealittlesomethingtocooloff,Lin?"14. Twoblocksawayfromourhotel,thefamilystoppedforadishofvanillaicecreamataBreyer'sicecreamandsodafountain.Indoors,thesodafountainwasdimandfan-cooled,deliciouslyrelievingtomyscorchedeyes.15. Cordedandcrispandpinafored,thefiveofusseatedourselvesonebyoneatthecounter.TherewasIbetweenmymotherandfather,andmytwosistersontheothersideofmymother.Wesettledourselvesalongthewhitemottledmarblecounter,andwhenthewaitressspokeatfirstnooneunderstoodwhatshewassaying,andsothefiveofusjustsatthere.16. Thewaitressmovedalongthelineofusclosertomyfatherandspokeagain."IsaidIkingiveyoutotakeout,butyoucan'teathere,sorry."Thenshedroppedhereyeslookingveryembarrassed,andsuddenlyweheardwhatitwasshewassayingallatthesametime,loudandclear.17. Straight-backedandindignant,onebyone,myfamilyandIgotdownfromthecounterstoolsandturnedaroundandmarchedoutofthestore,quietandoutraged,asifwehadneverbeenBlackbefore.Noonewouldanswermyemphaticquestionswithanythingotherthanaguiltysilence."Butwehadn'tdoneanything!"Thiswasn'trightorfair!Hadn'tIwrittenpoemsaboutfreedomanddemocracyforall?18. Myparentswouldn'tspeakofthisinjustice,notbecausetheyhadcontributedtoit,butbecausetheyfelttheyshouldhaveanticipateditandavoidedit.Thismademeevenangrier.Myfurywasnotgoingtobeacknowledgedbyalikefury.Evenmytwosisterscopiedmyparents'pretensethatnothingunusualandanti-Americanhadoccurred.IwaslefttowritemyangrylettertothepresidentoftheUnitedStatesallbymyself,althoughmyfatherdidpromiseIcouldtypeitoutontheofficetypewriternextweek,afterIshowedittohiminmycopybookdiary.19. Thewaitresswaswhite,andthecounterwaswhite,andtheicecreamIneverateinWashingtonD.C.,thatsummerIleftchildhoodwaswhite,andthewhiteheatandthewhitepavementandthewhitestonemonumentsofmyfirstWashingtonsummermademesicktomystomachforthewholerestofthattripanditwasn'tmuchofagraduationpresentafterall.我第一次去華盛頓是在那年剛入夏,這個夏天也是我從此告別孩提時代的開始。至少,這是他們在我們八年級畢業時對大家這么說的。我的姐姐菲利絲同時從高中畢業。我不清楚她應該告別什么階段。不過,作為給我們倆畢業的禮物,全家人于七月四日赴華盛頓旅游,前往我們國家寓言般的、聞名遐邇的首都。2. 那是我第一次大白天乘火車。小時候,我們常去康涅狄格海邊,我們總是晚上搭乘運送牛奶的火車,因為車票更便宜。3. 早在放假前,家里就洋溢著準備出發的氣氛。我們打包就花了一個星期。有兩個很大的箱子,是爸爸拿的,還有一個裝滿食品的盒子。事實上,我的那第一次前往華盛頓的旅途是個流動的宴席；舒舒服服地在座位上剛坐下來,我就開吃了,一直吃到火車抵達費城附近的地方。我記得那是費城,是因為沒有路過自由大鐘而感到失望的緣故。4. 我媽媽烤了兩只雞,還將它們很漂亮地切成一口一塊那么大小。她帶了黑面包片、黃油、青椒和胡蘿卜條；還有那邊上點綴著叫做"萬壽菊"的有點兒黃黃的冰鎮蛋糕,是從庫什曼面包房買來的。有在牛頓店里買來的辣面包卷和硬餅,就是在倫諾克斯大街圣馬可學校對面的那家西部印第安面包房。有包裹得好好的灌在色拉醬瓶里的冰茶。有給我們吃的甜泡菜,有給爸爸吃的小茴香泡菜,還有長著絨毛的桃子,每一只都分開來包,以免碰傷。此外,為了整潔,還有一沓沓的餐巾,一塊放在小鐵盒子里浸泡著玫瑰水和甘油的小毛巾,擦黏糊糊的嘴巴用的。5. 我想要到餐車去吃飯,因為我閱讀過這方面的內容。但是,媽媽已經無數次地提醒過我,在餐車里吃飯要花很多錢,而且還不知道那些吃的東西出自于什么人的手,也不知道那雙手剛碰過什么東西。媽媽從來不提及,1947年開往南方的火車上,黑人是不準進餐車的。一如既往,凡是媽媽不喜歡的東西和不能改變的事情,她一概不予理睬。也許因為得不到她的關注,這種事情就會消失。6. 我后來獲悉,菲利絲高三班級的旅游也是去華盛頓,但是那幾個嬤嬤悄悄地把她交的預付款退還給她,對她解釋說,除了她,全班都是白人學生。他們要待在一家旅館里,菲利絲在那兒會"不開心的",意思是說他們不租房間給黑人,爸爸也是這么悄悄地對她解釋的。"我們還是要帶你們去華盛頓的,我們自己去,"爸爸信誓旦旦,"而且遠不止住在便宜骯臟的旅館里待一個晚上。"7. 在華盛頓,我們有一間大房間,兩張雙人床,外加一張給我的兒童床。那是一家位于后街的旅館,店主是爸爸的朋友,此人從事房地產業。第二天做完彌撒之后,我便一整天瞇起眼睛抬頭仰望林肯紀念堂。在這里瑪麗安·安德森放聲高歌,之前美國革命女兒會因為她是黑人拒絕她在他們的禮堂歌唱?；蛟S就因為她是"有色的",就像爸爸給我們講這個故事的時候那么說的。要么他很可能說的是"黑人<Negro>",因為在當時我父親是相當進步的。8. 我瞇起雙眼,因為我默默承受著自己童年時代每年夏天都要承受的痛苦,從六月底學校放假開始到七月底。這個痛苦是因為在夏日的強光下張大眼睛受到傷害而造成的。9. 我是通過一層令人痛苦的圓環狀的耀眼強光看見七月份的。我一直痛恨七月四日,甚至在我意識到這種騙人的鬼話之前：這種慶祝是為這個國家的黑人的。10. 我的父母不認可太陽眼鏡,也接受不了太陽鏡的價格。11. 整個下午我瞇起雙眼抬頭張望那些自由、逝去的總統以及民主的紀念碑,心想為什么華盛頓的光線和熱量要比在紐約家鄉強得多,甚至街上人行道的顏色也比家里的要白一些。12. 在華盛頓一天下午黃昏的時候,我和家人沿著賓夕法尼亞大道往回走。我們儼然一個旅行團,媽媽白晳亮麗,爸爸棕色皮膚,我們三個女孩的膚色介于兩者之間,由淺至深。受到周圍歷史氣氛和黃昏熱浪的影響,爸爸決定再次請客。他有很強的歷史感,他天生有種并不張揚的戲劇性,而且對場景和旅行有種特殊的感觸。13. "我們停下來吃些東西涼快涼快好嗎,琳？"14. 離我們住的旅館兩個街區之遙,我們一家人停下腳步,在一家布雷耶冰淇淋和汽水店買了一盤冰淇淋。室內,柜臺光線昏暗,電扇下涼風習習,讓我被強光照耀的雙眼感到輕松多了。15. 我們的座位用繩子連在一起,個個神清氣爽,圍著餐巾,五個人并排在柜臺前坐下。我在爸爸和媽媽中間,兩個姐姐在媽媽的另一邊。我們一字排開,靠著帶有花紋的XX石柜臺坐下。女服務員張口說話,一開始誰也沒聽懂她在說什么,于是我們五個人就坐在那兒。16. 女服務員沿著我們向爸爸走去,再次說道,"我剛才說可以讓你們外帶,但是你們不能在這兒吃,對不起。"然后,她垂下雙眼,一副尷尬的樣子。我們突然聽見她說的話了,同時聽見的,響亮清晰。17. 挺起胸膛,義憤填膺,我和家人一個接一個地從柜臺前的凳子上站起身來,轉身大步跨出店堂,一言不發,但怒火中燒,似乎我們以前從來就不是黑人。我加重語氣地說道,"我們什么也沒有做呀!"就是不對,不公平呀!難道我沒有寫過所有人都該享有自由民主的詩歌嗎？除了因愧疚而默默無聲,誰也沒有對我的問題做出應答。18. 我的爸爸媽媽對不公正緘默無語,不是因為他們對此有什么責任,而是因為他們覺得本應該早有預料,并應該加以避免的。這讓我更加憤怒。我的怒火并沒人認可,也沒人像我一樣憤怒。連我那兩個姐姐也隨著爸爸媽媽,裝作沒有發生過什么非同尋常、反美國的事情。那只好由我自己來給美國總統寫封信,表達自己的憤怒。不過,我給爸爸看了我寫在練習簿的信之后,他保證我下周可以在他的辦公室打字機上將信打出來。19 那個女服務員是個白人,那張柜臺是白色的,那份我從來沒在華盛頓吃的冰淇淋,以及我告別了童年的夏天都是白色的。還有那年夏天我第一次去華盛頓的白色的熱浪、白色的人行道和白色的石柱紀念碑在接下來的旅程中讓我惡心。那可算不上一件畢業禮物啊。第二課THESTRUGGLETOBEANALL-AMERICANGIRLElizabethWong1. It'sstillthere,theChineseschoolonYaleStreetwheremybrotherandIusedtogo.Despitethenewcoatofpaintandthehighwirefence,theschoolIknew10yearsagoremainsremarkably,stoicallythesame.2. Everydayat5p.m.,insteadofplayingwithourfourth-andfifth-gradefriendsorsneakingouttotheemptylottohuntghostsandanimalbones,mybrotherandIhadtogotoChineseschool.Noamountofkicking,screaming,orpleadingcoulddissuademymother,whowassolidlydeterminedtohaveuslearnthelanguageofourheritage.3. Forcibly,shewalkedusthesevenlong,hillyblocksfromourhometoschool,depositingourdefianttearfulfacesbeforethesternprincipal.Myonlymemoryofhimisthatheswayedonhisheelslikeapalmtree,andhealwaysclaspedhisimpatienttwitchinghandsbehindhisback.Irecognizedhimasarepressedmaniacalchildkiller,andknewthatifweeversawhishandswe'dbeinbigtrouble.DetailedReading4. Weallsatinlittlechairsinanemptyauditorium.TheroomsmelledlikeChinesemedicine,animportedfarawaymustiness.Likeancientmothballsordirtyclosets.Ihatedthatsmell.Ifavoredcrispnewscents,likethesoftFrenchperfumethatmyAmericanteacherworeinpublicschool.5. Althoughtheemphasisattheschoolwasmainlylanguage—speaking,reading,writing—thelessonsalwaysbeganwithanexerciseinpoliteness.Withtheentranceoftheteacher,thebeststudentwouldtapabellandeveryonewouldgetup,kowtow,andchant,"Singsanho,"thephoneticfor"Howareyou,teacher?"DetailedReading6. Beingtenyearsold,Ihadbetterthingstolearnthanideographscopiedpainstakinglyinlinesthatranrighttoleftfromthetipofamocbut,arealinkpenthathadtobeheldinanawkwardwayifblotchesweretobeavoided.Afterall,Icoulddothemultiplicationtables,namethesatellitesofMars,andwritereportsonLittleWomenandBlackBeauty.NancyDrew,myfavoritebookheroine,neverspokeChinese.DetailedReading7. Thelanguagewasasourceofembarrassment.Moretimesthannot,IhadtriedtodisassociatemyselffromthenaggingloudvoicethatfollowedmewhereverIwanderedinthenearbyAmericansupermarketoutsideChinatown.Thevoicebelongedtomygrandmother,afragilewomaninherseventieswhocouldoutshoutthebestofthestreetvendors.Herhumorwasraunchy,herChineserhythmlessandpatternless.Itwasquick,itwasloud,itwasunbeautiful.Itwasnotlikethequiet,liltingromanceofFrenchorthegentlerefinementoftheAmericanSouth.Chinesesoundedpedestrian.Public.8. InChinatown,thecomingsandgoingsofhundredsofChineseontheirdailytaskssoundedchaoticandfrenzied.Ididnotwanttobethoughtofasmad,astalkinggibberish.WhenIspokeEnglish,peoplenoddedatme,smiledsweetly,saidencouragingwords.EventhepeopleinmyculturewouldcluckandsaythatI'ddowellinlife."My,doesn'tshemoveherlipsfast,"theywouldsay,meaningthatI'dbeabletokeepupwiththeworldoutsideChinatown.9. MybrotherwasevenmorefanaticalthanIaboutspeakingEnglish.Hewasespeciallyhardonmymother,criticizingher,oftencruelly,forherpidginspeech—smatteringsofChinesescatteredlikechopsueyinherconversation."It'snot'Whatitis,'Mom,"hewouldsayinexasperation."It's'Whatisit,whatisit,whatisit!'"SometimesMommightleaveoutanoccasional"the"or"a",orperhapsaverbofbeing.Hewouldstopherinmid-sentence,"Sayitagain,Mom.Sayitright."Whenhetrippedoverhisowntongue,he'dblameitonher,"See,Mom,it'sallyourfault.Yousetabadexample."10. Whatinfuriatedmymothermostwaswhenmybrothercorneredheronherconsonants,especially"r".MyfatherhadplayedacrueljokeonMombyassigningheranAmericannamethathertonguewouldn'tallowhertosay.Nomatterhowhardshetried,"Ruth"alwaysendedup"Luth"or"Roof".11. Aftertwoyearsofwritingwithamocbutandrecitingwordswithmultiplesofmeanings,Ifinallywasgrantedaculturaldivorce.IwaspermittedtostopChineseschool.12. Ithoughtofmyselfasmulticultural.Ipreferredtacostoeggrolls;IenjoyedCincodeMayomorethanChineseNewYear.13. Atlast,Iwasoneofyou;Iwasn'toneofthem.14. Sadly,Istillam. 我和弟弟小時候上的那所耶魯大街上的中文學校還在那兒。除了新刷的油漆和高高的電網,我10年前就認識的這所學校依然一切如故。。2.每天下午5點鐘,我和弟弟不能和四年級、五年級的伙伴們玩耍,也不能偷偷溜進那片空地去尋找鬼魂和動物骨頭,而非得去中文學校上課。無論怎么跺腳踢腿、大喊大鬧、或者苦苦哀求,媽媽都無動于衷。她下定決心要讓我們學會祖傳的語言。3.連拖帶拽,她帶著我們走過那長長的七個街區的陡坡路來到學校,把我們扔在那無比嚴酷的校長面前,我們滿臉都是倔強的淚水。我頭腦里只記得,那個校長像一棵棕櫚樹,雙腳站立,身體左右搖晃,雙手手指交叉放在背后總不耐煩地抽動著。在我眼里,他是個心情壓抑、行為狂躁的謀殺小孩的兇手,而且還知道,如果一旦看見他的手,我們就有大麻煩了。4. 我們都坐在空空蕩蕩禮堂里的小椅子上。屋內散發著像中藥似的氣味,一種來自遠方的陳年霉味,像年代久遠的樟腦丸或骯臟的小房間里的味道。我對那種味道深惡痛絕。我喜愛清新的香味,比如我的那位公立學校美國老師身上的那種溫馨的法國香水味。5. 雖然在那所學校里主要是學習語言——說話、閱讀、寫字,但是每堂課總是以操練禮貌開始。老師一走進教室,最好的那個學生就打鈴,于是大家全體起立、磕頭、并齊聲說,"先生好",即"老師您好"的中文發音。6.那年我十歲,比起用毛筆從右至左一橫一豎、煞費苦心地寫方塊字,我有更好的東西去學習。毛筆是一支真正的墨水筆,要避免弄出墨點兒來,就得別別扭扭地握住筆。我畢竟背得出乘法口訣,說得出火星的衛星名字,還寫過《小婦人》和《黑美人》的讀書報告。南?！さ卖斒俏易钕矚g的書籍里的女主人翁,她可從來不說中文。7.語言真給人帶來尷尬。很多次我去逛唐人街附近的美國超市時,就會從身后傳來喋喋不休的大聲喧嘩。我經常要想方設法擺脫這個聲音。那是我奶奶的聲音,她已年逾七旬,身體脆弱,但是她的喉嚨超過街上最棒的小販。她有一種低俗的幽默,說的中文既缺乏節奏,又沒有句型。那聲音說得很快、很響、很不美；不像那細聲細氣、抑揚頓挫的浪漫法語,也不像溫柔上乘的美國南部的聲音。中文聽上去就是有市井氣,不登大雅之堂。8.在唐人街,數以千計的華人為了生計來往忙碌,他們說起話的聲音雜亂無章。我可不想被人以為瘋了,以為在胡言亂語。我開口說英語時,人們對我點頭示意、報以微笑,還說上幾句鼓勵的話。甚至連與我同民族的人也會忙不迭地說我以后會有出息。"天哪,她那小嘴唇動得多快,"他們說道,意思是說我跟得上唐人街外面世界的步伐。9.提到說英語,我弟弟比我更吹毛求疵。他對媽媽特別嚴格,經常批評她的洋涇浜英語,絲毫不留情面——說她的英語會話中像炒雜碎似的夾雜著一兩句中文。"不是‘Whatitis,’媽媽,"他會很生氣地說。"是‘Whatisit,whatisit,whatisit!’"有的時候,媽媽也許會漏掉"the"或"a",或者忘掉動詞"being"。他就會在她說到一半的時候打斷她。"再說一次,媽媽。要說正確了。"他自己口誤時,就會把責任推給她。"瞧,媽媽,都是因為你,是你樹立的壞榜樣。"10.最讓媽媽怒不可遏的是弟弟抓住她在輔音上出的錯,尤其是"r"這個音。爸爸對媽媽惡作劇,給她取了一個美國名字,她那舌頭就是發不出這個音。無論怎么努力,她說"Ruth",結果不是"Luth",就是"Roof"。11.用毛筆寫了兩年字,背了兩年有幾個意思的漢字,我終于獲準在文化上脫離了,獲準不再上中文學校了。12.我原來以為自己具有多元文化的背景。我喜歡吃墨西哥玉米卷,不愛吃蛋卷。比起過春節,我更喜歡五月五日死亡節。13. 最終,我成了你們當中的一員,不再是他們當中的一員。14. 令我難過的是,我現在還是這樣。第三課AHANGINGGeorgeOrwell1.ItwasinBurma,asoddenmorningoftherains.Wewerewaitingoutsidethecondemnedcells,arowofshedsfrontedwithdoublebars,likesmallanimalcages.Eachcellmeasuredabouttenfeetbytenandwasquitebarewithinexceptforaplankbedandapotfordrinkingwater.Insomeofthembrownsilentmenweresquattingattheinnerbars,withtheirblanketsdrapedroundthem.Thesewerethecondemnedmen,duetobehangedwithinthenextweekortwo.DetailedReadingDR-p2text2. Oneprisonerhadbeenbroughtoutofhiscell.HewasaHindu,apunywispofaman,withashavenheadandvagueliquideyes.SixtallIndianwarderswereguardinghimandgettinghimreadyforthegallows.Twoofthemstoodbywithriflesandfixedbayonets,whiletheothershandcuffedhim,passedachainthroughhishandcuffsandfixedittotheirbelts,andlashedhisarmstightlytohissides.Theycrowdedverycloseabouthim,withtheirhandsalwaysonhiminacareful,caressinggrip,asthoughallthewhilefeelinghimtomakesurehewasthere.Buthestoodquiteunresisting,yieldinghisarmslimplytotheropes,asthoughhehardlynoticedwhatwashappening.3. Eighto'clockstruckandabuglecallfloatedfromthedistantbarracks.Thesuperintendentofthejail,whowasstandingapartfromtherestofus,moodilyproddingthegravelwithhisstick,raisedhisheadatthesound."ForGod'ssakehurryup,Francis,"hesaidirritably."Themanoughttohavebeendeadbythistime.Aren'tyoureadyyet?"4. Francis,theheadjailer,afatDravidianinawhitedrillsuitandgoldspectacles,wavedhisblackhand."Yessir,yessir,"hebubbled."Allissatisfactorilyprepared.Thehangmaniswaiting.Weshallproceed."5. "Well,quickmarch,then.Theprisonerscan'tgettheirbreakfasttillthisjob'sover."6. Wesetoutforthegallows.Twowardersmarchedoneithersideoftheprisoner,withtheirriflesattheslope;twoothersmarchedcloseagainsthim,grippinghimbyarmandshoulder,asthoughatoncepushingandsupportinghim.Therestofus,magistratesandthelike,followedbehind.7. Itwasaboutfortyyardstothegallows.Iwatchedthebarebrownbackoftheprisonermarchinginfrontofme.Hewalkedclumsilywithhisboundarms,butquitesteadily.Ateachstephismusclesslidneatlyintoplace,thelockofhaironhisscalpdancedupanddown,hisfeetprintedthemselvesonthewetgravel.Andonce,inspiteofthemenwhogrippedhimbyeachshoulder,hesteppedslightlyasidetoavoidapuddleonthepath.8. Itiscurious,buttillthatmomentIhadneverrealizedwhatitmeanstodestroyahealthy,consciousman.WhenIsawtheprisonerstepasidetoavoidthepuddleIsawthemystery,theunspeakablewrongness,ofcuttingalifeshortwhenitisinfulltide.Thismanwasnotdying,hewasalivejustaswearealive.Alltheorgansofhisbodywereworking--bowelsdigestingfood,skinrenewingitself,nailsgrowing,tissuesforming--alltoilingawayinsolemnfoolery.Hisnailswouldstillbegrowingwhenhestoodonthedrop,whenhewasfallingthroughtheairwithatenthofasecondtolive.Hiseyessawtheyellowgravelandthegraywalls,andhisbrainstillremembered,foresaw,reasoned--reasonedevenaboutpuddles.Heandwewereapartyofmenwalkingtogether,seeing,hearing,feeling,understandingthesameworld;andintwominutes,withasuddensnap,oneofuswouldbegone--onemindless,oneworldless.9. Thegallowsstoodinasmallyard.Thehangman,agray-hairedconvictinthewhiteuniformoftheprison,waswaitingbesidehismachine.Hegreeteduswithaservilecrouchasweentered.AtawordfromFrancisthetwowarders,grippingtheprisonermorecloselythanever,halfledhalfpushedhimtothegallowsandhelpedhimclumsilyuptheladder.Thenthehangmanclimbedupandfixedtheropearoundtheprisoner'sneck.10. Westoodwaiting,fiveyardsaway.Thewardershadformedaroughcircleroundthegallows.Andthen,whenthenoosewasfixed,theprisonerbegancryingouttohisgod.Itwasahigh,reiteratedcryof"Ram!Ram!Ram!Ram!"noturgentandfearfullikeaprayeroracryforhelp,butsteady,rhythmical,almostlikethetollingofabell.11. Thehangmanclimbeddownandstoodready,holdingthelever.Minutesseemedtopass.Thesteadycryingfromtheprisonerwentonandon,"Ram!Ram!Ram!"neverfalteringforaninstant.Thesuperintendent,hisheadonhischest,wasslowlypokingthegroundwithhisstick;perhapshewascountingthecries,allowingtheprisonerafixednumber--fifty,perhaps,orahundred.Everyonehadchangedcolor.TheIndianshadgonegraylikebadcoffee,andoneortwoofthebayonetswerewavering.12. Suddenlythesuperintendentmadeuphismind.Throwinguphisheadhemadeaswiftmotionwithhisstick."Chalo!"heshoutedalmostfiercely.13. Therewasaclankingnoise,andthendeadsilence.Theprisonerhadvanished,andtheropewastwistingonitself.Wewentroundthegallowstoinspecttheprisoner'sbody.Hewasdanglingwithhistoespointingstraightdownward.Veryslowlyrevolving,asdeadasastone.14. Thesuperintendentreachedoutwithhisstickandpokedthebarebrownbody;itoscillatedslightly."He'sallright,"saidthesuperintendent.Hebackedoutfromunderthegallows,andblewoutadeepbreath.Themoodylookhadgoneoutofhisfacequitesuddenly.Heglancedathiswristwatch."Eightminutespasteight.Well,that'sallforthismorning,thankGod."15.Thewardersunfixedbayonetsandmarchedaway.Wewalkedoutofthegallowsyard,pastthecondemnedcellswiththeirwaitingprisoners,intothebigcentralyardoftheprison.Theconvictswerealreadyreceivingtheirbreakfast.Theysquattedinlongrows,eachmanholdingatinpannikin,whiletwowarderswithbucketsmarchroundladlingoutrice;itseemedquiteahomely,jollyscene,afterthehanging.Anenormousreliefhadcomeuponusnowthatthejobwasdone.Onefeltanimpulsetosing,tobreakintoarun,tosnigger.Allatonceeveryonebeganchatteringgaily.16. TheEurasianboywalkingbesidemenoddedtowardthewaywehadcome,withaknowingsmile,"Doyouknowsir,ourfriend<hemeantthedeadman>whenheheardhisappealhadbeendismissed,hepissedonthefloorofhiscell.Fromfright.Kindlytakeoneofmycigarettes,sir.Doyounotadmiremynewsilvercase,sir?ClassyEuropeanstyle."17. Severalpeoplelaughed--atwhat,nobodyseemedcertain.18. Franciswaswalkingbythesuperintendent,talkinggarrulously,"Well,sir,allhaspassedoffwiththeutmostsatisfactoriness.Itwasallfinished--flick!Likethat.Itisnotalwaysso--oahno!Ihaveknowncaseswherethedoctorwasobligedtogobeneaththegallowsandpulltheprisoner'slegstoensuredecease.Mostdisagreeable."19. "Wrigglingabout,eh?That'sbad,"saidthesuperintendent.20. "Ach,sir,itisworsewhentheybecomerefractory!Oneman,Irecall,clungtothebarsofhiscagewhenwewenttotakehimout.Youwillscarcelycredit,sir,thatittooksixwarderstodislodgehim,threepullingateachleg."21. IfoundthatIwaslaughingquiteloudly.Everyonewaslaughing.Eventhesuperintendentgrinnedinatolerantway."You'dbetterallcomeandhaveadrink,"hesaidquitegenially."I'vegotabottleofwhiskeyinthecar.Wecoulddowithit."22. Wewentthroughthebigdoublegatesoftheprisonintotheroad."Pullingathislegs!"exclaimedaBurmesemagistratesuddenly,andburstintoaloudchuckling.Weallbeganlaughingagain.AtthatmomentFrancis'anecdoteseemedextraordinarilyfunny.Weallhadadrinktogether,nativeandEuropeanalike,quiteamicably.Thedeadmanwasahundredyardsaway.1.那是發生在緬甸的事情。在一個很潮濕的雨季清晨,我們都在死囚牢房外面等著,一排小屋的門上加了雙根鐵條,就像小動物的籠子。每間牢房大約10英寸見方,里面只有一張木板床和一個盛飲水的罐兒。有幾間里,棕色皮膚的人默默無聲地蹲在里面一間的鐵條后面,身上披著毯子。這些都是死囚,在一兩周以內將被處以絞刑。2.有個囚犯從他的牢房里被帶了出來。他是個印度教徒,身材瘦小,弱不禁風,頭頂剃得光光的,雙眼水汪汪的,渾濁無神。六個高大的印度獄卒看著他,準備送他上絞刑架。其中兩個手持上了刺刀的長槍,站在旁邊,其余幾個給他戴上手銬,從手銬中穿上一根鏈條系在他們的皮帶上,再把他的手臂緊緊地捆在他身體的兩側。獄卒們團團站在他周圍,手都小心地緊握住他,似乎在撫摸他,時刻確信人就在那兒。然而,囚犯毫無反抗地站著,雙臂耷拉地讓繩子捆著,似乎他并沒有注意將要發生的事情。3.八點鐘的鐘聲響起,從遠處的軍營傳來一陣軍號聲。監獄長站在我們的外圍,悶悶不樂地用手杖戳了戳沙礫地面,隨著傳來的聲響抬起頭來。"天哪,快點兒,法朗西斯,"他焦躁地說道。"這家伙此刻早該死啦。你還沒有準備好嗎？"4. 法朗西斯是獄卒小隊長,一個胖胖的達羅毗荼人,身穿白色的斜紋布制服,還戴副金絲邊眼鏡,揮了揮黑色的手。"好了,好了,監獄長,"他反反復復地說道。"萬事俱備。絞刑手等著呢。我們馬上動手。"5."行,聽好了,齊步走。等這活兒干完,囚犯們才可以吃早飯。"6. 我們向絞刑架走去。各有兩名獄卒走在死囚左右兩邊,掮著長槍；另外兩名緊靠著他,死死地抓住他的手臂和肩膀,似推似扶著他。我們其余的人,像執法官一類的,跟在后面。7.在離絞刑架大約40碼的地方,我眼望著那死囚光著膀子的棕顏色脊背,走在我的前面。他雙臂被捆著,走起路來雖不靈活,但穩穩的。身上的肌肉與邁出的步伐很協調,腦袋上的那簇頭發上下跳躍,雙腳在潮濕的沙礫地面上留下腳印。有一次,盡管兩個肩膀被人緊握著,他稍稍地向一旁邁出一小步,為了避開小道上的水坑。8.真奇怪,在那一刻之前,我從來沒有意識到把一個活生生的、身體健康的人置于死地是怎么回事。等看到那死囚為了避開水坑向旁邊側一步的時候,我發現了將一個正當壯年的生命戛然結束的神秘,那是一種無以言表的錯誤。那個人不是生命垂危,他活著,像我們一樣活著。他身體里的所有器官還在運作——腸子在消化食品、皮膚在自我更新、指甲在生長、細胞組織在形成——全在一本正經地、愚蠢地忙碌著。他站在那塊活動踏板上的時候,指甲還在長；當他從空中落下來的時候,他還有十分之一秒的時間活著。他的雙眼將看見黃顏色的沙礫地面和灰顏色的墻壁,他的頭腦仍然會記憶、預見和思考——甚至會思考那個水坑。他和我們是一起向前走的一群人,看見、聽見、感覺、理解同一個世界。然而,兩分鐘后,突然咔嗒一聲,我們當中有一個將死去——少了一個頭腦,少了一個世界。9.絞刑架豎立在一個小院子里。絞刑手是個滿頭花白頭發的囚犯,身穿監獄里白顏色的囚服,在那臺機器旁等候著。我們走進去時,他奴顏婢膝地向我們躬身致意。隨著法朗西斯的一句話,兩名獄卒靠得更近地抓住死囚,半拉半推地把他帶到絞刑架,笨手笨腳地幫他爬上扶梯。然后,絞刑手也爬上去,將絞索套在死囚的脖子上。10.我們在五碼開外的地方等著。獄卒們圍著絞刑架一圈站開。接著,等絞索套好后,死囚開始向他的神喊叫起來。聲音很高,反復地喊著"羅摩!羅摩!羅摩!羅摩!",不像焦急恐懼求救的祈禱或喊叫,倒是一聲接一聲,很有節奏感,像擊鐘的聲音。11.絞刑手爬了下來,站立著手握杠桿,準備就緒。好像又過了幾分鐘。死囚發出的那一聲接一聲呼喊還在繼續。"羅摩!羅摩!羅摩!"一刻兒都不停頓。監獄長的腦袋低垂在胸前,慢慢地用手杖戳著地面,他也許正在數著喊叫的次數,允許讓死囚喊叫一個固定的次數——大概五十次,或者一百次。每個人的臉色都變了。那幾個印度人的臉色像壞了的咖啡,發灰,而且有一兩把刺刀搖晃了起來。12.監獄長突然下了決心。他猛地抬起頭來,拿起手杖迅速一揮。"絞了!"他近乎殘暴地大吼道。13. 哐當一聲,接著是死一般的寂靜。死囚不見了,就那根繩索在打轉。我們走到絞刑架四周查看死囚的尸體。他懸著,左右晃來晃去的,腳趾直指下方。非常緩慢地轉動著,死得像塊石頭。14.監獄長伸出手杖,戳戳那光著膀子的棕色尸體,那尸體微微地晃動了一下。"完事了,"監獄長說道。他從絞刑架下面退出來,深深地吐了口氣。他那副陰沉沉的臉色突然消失了。他瞟了一眼手表。"八點零八分。嗯,今天上午的活兒到此為止,謝天謝地。"15.獄卒們取下刺刀,邁步走開。我們從放置絞刑架的院子里走出來,路過等死囚犯的牢房,來到監獄的中心大院。囚犯們已經在領早飯了。他們一長排一長排地蹲著,每個人手里拿著一個錫碗,兩名獄卒抬著飯桶來回打飯。絞刑剛過,那看上去倒是一個樸實快樂的場景。既然活兒干完了,我們大大地松了一口氣。有一種想唱歌、想狂奔、想偷偷笑一笑的沖動。大家開始開心地聊起天來。16.走在我身邊的歐亞混血小伙子朝來的那條路點頭示意,面露無所不知的微笑說道,"長官,您知道嗎,我們的朋友<他指的是那個死人>聽說上訴被駁回的時候,都尿褲子了,尿在地板上,嚇出來的。長官,請抽支煙吧。長官,我這只新的銀煙盒您看看怎么樣？正宗的歐洲款式。"17. 有幾個人哈哈大笑起來——笑什么,好像誰也不清楚。18.法朗西斯走在監獄長身邊,喋喋不休地說："嗯,長官,事情全辦完了,十分滿意。啪的一聲,就全完了!并非總是如此的,哦,不是的。我就知道,有幾次醫生不得不到絞刑架下面,抓住囚犯的腿向下拉,才死的。麻煩得很。"19. "哦,抽動著？太糟糕了,"監獄長說道。20."啊呀,長官,那些家伙不聽話起來就更加麻煩了!我記得,有個家伙我們帶他出來時,拼命地抓住牢房的鐵條。長官啊,你簡直不會相信,用了六個獄卒才把他拽出來,三個人拖一條腿。"21. 我發現自己在哈哈大笑,聲音很響。每個人都在哈哈大笑。連監獄長也寬容地露出牙齒笑了。"大家都來喝杯酒吧,"他和藹地說道,"我車上有一瓶威士忌,我們幾個喝。"22. 我們穿過雙鐵條的監獄大門,走到大路上。"拉他的腿!"一個緬甸人執法官突然嚷嚷道,又咯咯地大笑起來。我們大家再次開始大笑。此時此刻,法朗西斯講的事情似乎格外好玩。我們大家一起喝了杯酒,當地人和歐洲人,很和睦。那個死人就在一百碼之外。Unit5GIVEMELIBERTYORGIVEMEDEATHPatrickHenry1. Mr.President:NomanthinksmorehighlythanIdoofthepatriotism,aswellasabilities,oftheveryworthygentlemenwhohavejustaddressedthehouse.Butdifferentmenoftenseethesameobjectindifferentlights;and,therefore,Ihopeitwillnotbethoughtdisrespectfultothosegentlemen,if,entertaining,asIdo,opinionsofacharacterveryoppositetotheirs,Ishallspeakforthmysentimentsfreelyandwithoutreserve.Thisisnotimeforceremony.Thequestionbeforethehouseisoneofawfulmomenttothiscountry.Formyownpart,Iconsideritasnothinglessthanaquestionoffreedomorslavery.Andinproportiontothemagnitudeofthesubjectoughttobethefreedomofthedebate.Itisonlyinthiswaythatwecanhopetoarriveattruth,andfulfillthegreatresponsibilitywhichweholdtoGodandourcountry.ShouldIkeepbackmyopinionsatsuchatime,throughfearofgivingoffence,Ishouldconsidermyselfasguiltyoftreasontowardmycountry,andofanactofdisloyaltytowardtheMajestyofHeaven,whichIrevereaboveallearthlykings.2.Mr.President,itisnaturaltomantoindulgeintheillusionsofhope.Weareapttoshutoureyesagainstapainfultruth,andlistentothesongofthatsirentillshetransforms