1、HitchBasic principles:基本原貝UNo woman wakes up saying: "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." 沒有女人醒 來，說：希望今天不會有帥哥追我Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." 她可能會說：現在時機可能不對Or something like, "I just need some space." 或是這句，我需要一點空間Or my personal

2、 favorite: 或我最喜歡的"I'm really into my career right no w."我正在全心發展事業You believe that? Neither does she.你相信嗎，她也不信You know why? Because she's lyi ng to you, that's why.知道原因嗎？她在騙你You understand me? Lying.聽懂了嗎，騙你的It's n ot a bad time for her. She does n't need any space.時機并沒有不

3、對，她也不需要空間She may be into her career.她也許專業事業but what she's really say ing is,"Get away from me now."但她其實是說給我滾開Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." 或者再努力點，笨蛋Well, which one is it?到底是什么意思呢60% of all huma n com muni cati on is non verbal. 人們勾通有六成不是靠說話Body Ianguage.身體語言30% is your t

4、one.三成靠你說話的音調So that mea ns that 90% of what you're say in g.那表示你傳答的意思有九成ai n't comi ng out of your mouth. 不用嘴巴來說的Toby!托比Shit!糟了Of course she'll lie to you.當然會騙你She's a nice pers on,she does n't wa nna hurt your feel in gs.她是個好人，她不想傷害你What else is she gonna say?She does n't e

5、ven know you.她還能說什么，她跟你又不熟Yet.還不熟Luckily, the fact isthat just like the rest of us. 幸 運 地 和 我 們 一 樣even a beautiful woma n does n't know what she wants un til she sees it. 就算美女也不知道自己 要做什么And that's where I come in.這就是我的工作My job is to open her eyes.我要讓她看清楚Oh, my God!我的老天Is this what you'r

6、e looki ng for? 你在找它嗎Basic principles: No matter what, no matter when, no matter who. 基本原則：不論何事，不論 何時，不論何人，any man has a cha nee to sweep any woma n off her feet. 任何男人都有機會迷倒任何女人Just needs the right broom.只要方法正確You cannot use what you do not have.你不能應用你沒有的東西So if you're shy, be shy.If you're

7、outgo ing, be outgoi ng.保持自我，害羞的不要裝外向，外向的不要裝害羞，-I'm not outgo ing.-That's okay.我并不外向，無所謂She may not want the whole truth,but she does want the real you.她不想知道細節，但她要真正的你She may not want to see it all at once,but she does want to see it.她也許不想一次搞定，但她想看真正的你So toni ght, whe n you're won deri n

8、g whatto say, how you look, or if she likes you. 所以今晚在你想講什么，該穿什么或她到底喜不喜 歡你時 just remember, she is already out with you. 記住她已經和你約會了 That means she said yeswhe n she could have said no.那表示她在能拒絕你時卻答應了你That means she made a pla n whe n she could have just blow n you off. 在她可以躲開你時去卩見了你So that means it is

9、 no Ion ger your jobto try to make her like you.這表明你不用再設法讓她喜歡你It is your job not to mess it up. 而是設法不搞砸一切The shoes are hot.You went to the place I told you? 真贊的鞋，你照我的去做吧Yeah, but I don't think they're really me.對，但我不覺得我適合這樣"You" is a very fluid concept right now.個人形像是很具可塑性的You boug

10、ht the shoes.You look great in the shoes.你買了鞋，穿起來也帥呆了That's the you rm talk ing about.那就是你的形像The key tonight is hang back.今晚的策略就是要放松Give her plenty of space.給她充分的空間If she lingers at a photograph, move on. 她若留戀在照片之間，繼續走But ma in tai n the visual.記著，保持在視覺范圍內It's supposed to be 64 and clear ton

11、i ght.So whe n you leave the club, walk a little.今晚的天氣晴朗又清爽，你們離開酒吧時，散個步Ask her what she thought about the show.問她對今晚的展覽有何感想what was her favorite photograph,why that one.她最喜歡哪一幅，為什么And whe n she an swers,don't be look ing at her mouth.她回答時別盯著她的嘴巴看Don't be won deri ngwhat she looks like naked.

12、別幻想她光著身子的樣子Listen to what she is saying and respond. 傾聽她說的話，有所反應Listen and respond. 傾聽，回應That way, when it's your turn to talk.那樣輪到你講話時you'll have somethi ng better to say tha n,"I like your mouth." 就不用說，我喜歡你的嘴，What was your favorite one? 你最喜歡哪個The elephant, definitely.那幅大象，當然And a

13、ll of a sudde n,we're on date nu mber two.Ready.No way.We're going back in there.You have to smile.In case you did n't go to high school, hitt ing is a good thing.So how does it happe n, great love?Are you okay?-Nobody kno ws.- rm good.Let me get a Bomb Pop and a Screwball for the lady.B

14、ut what I can tell you,is that it happe ns in the bli nk of an eye. One mome nt, you're enjoying your life.And the n ext, you're won deri ng how you ever lived without them.Three dates is all I n eed.Three dates, and ni get you here, to the high-stakes medal roun d. where eight out of wome n

15、 believe that the first kiss.will tell them everyth ing they n eed to know about the relati on ship.After that, you're on your own.But always remember.life is not the amount of breaths you take. It's the mome nts that take your breath away. Did I call it or did I call it?I mean, what did I s

16、ay, six mon ths?And whe n was her first date?So five-a nd-a-half?God, I hate it whe n rm right.What is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks. even whe n they're going out with some one as awesome as Allegra Cole? She's only the most fabulous thing walk ing around Ne

17、w York.Than ks, Young.Are you kiddi ng?Of course rm gonna run it.Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat?Even if he is gorgeous.If he's stupid eno ugh to cheat.the world should knowhe's dumb eno ugh to get caught.Exact ly. I'm in the elevator.See you in a mi nu te.Good

18、 morning, how are you?Bitter, party of one.You should try it sometime.Barbados by myself?I would n't last five minutes.It was just what the doctor ordered.I slept in, I did my yoga,I read a couple of books.flirted with my scuba in structor.-And appare ntly n ever left the office.-I kno w, is n&#

19、39;t that great?You should've take n some one with you. Who am I gonna take with me?This is where a boyfrie nd comes in han dy.-I don't have time for a boyfrie nd.-You said that two years ago.Yes, and it's as true today as it was the n.I thought you were on vacatio n.See if these are in

20、focusand have them in my desk in an hour.Besides, relati on ships are for people wait ing for someth ing better to come along. Spoke n like a true cynic.rm n ot a cynic. I'm a realist.You are a realist masqueradi ng as a cynic who is secretly an optimist.What are you doing here?What is she doing

21、 here?She works here, remember?No, she does n't. Not for ano ther four days.-This could n't wait.-It could.What are you doing? Go back to the beach. -I don't want you here.-No, really, you do.You are beco minga sick, workaholic lun atic.and this is exactly.the kind of n ervous, overwroug

22、ht behavior that leads to.Pictures of Sebby with a busty brun ette.A very big raise.Jesus. You could find dirt in a sno wstorm.Comes with the job.You know, kiddo, there is more to lifetha n watch ing other people live it.Can I help he was cheati ng on my beach?I think it's greatthat you're s

23、o good at your job.rm just a little worried as to why.Let me worry about that.Okay. I want that colu mn on my desk by lun ch.So you'll pay for my hotel?For you to sip mai tais?I don't think so. Get out.-Come on.-What?-That's good, right?-No.No, it was in and it freaked out.You know what

24、your problem is, Hitch?You're all about the short game.You pick your shotsbased on what you see first.not what's n ecessarily best for you. in the long run.All of us are n ot married to the woma nof our dreams and about to have a baby.You know, I'm very happy for you.Just not meant for e

25、verybody.So please just leave me to my hot, sweaty. totally varied, wildly experime ntal short game.-I was talk ing about pool, but whatever.-Yeah, okay.Hon estly, I just hope one dayyou're able to experie nee.the uncon diti onal love, trust,and ope nn ess.that I share with Grace every sin gle d

26、ay.-Is this really barroom talk?-You n eed to liste n to me. I'm serious.Because whe n you get to a placewith a woma n like that.it's so bey ond anything physical that.whe n I think back towhe n I used to run around with you. and chase all these really gorgeous but shallow wome n.I don't

27、 kno w, it's kind of ridiculous and vaguely pathetic.Yeah, I see what you mean. That's pathetic. So, how'd you meet him?I was in La Perlajust buying some weeke nd thon gs.-And he was doing likewise?-No.Actually, he said he was buying someth ing for his mom.His mom?Casey, who buys high-pr

28、iced lin geriefor their mother?Well, maybe he was look ing for a robe. Casey, he was hitt ing on you while he was buying lin gerie for ano ther woma n.-I prefer the mother story.-I know you do, but that's not the point.No, the point is rm not gonna start out assu ming the guy's a liar.-Why n

29、 ot?-Because that's how you wind up.Like me? Is that what you were gonna say?No. I was gonna say, "Like you."-What's his name?-Why?-I'm gonna Google him.-No. Google your own guy.Let's just see if his mother's still alive.-So whe n is Grace due aga in?-Soon.-You excited?

30、-What'd you say?Do you want me to go get them and bring them over here?No, don't do that.Are you say ing you don't wanna talk to them because you can't go home with them?rm just trying to keep my head above water. -Have you heard of the Date Doctor?-Urba n myth.-Really?-Absolutely.I

31、was hop ing he also helped wome n. Casey, you're not sick. You're sin gle.You just have to relax and enjoy the ride.I have n't bee n ridde n in mon ths.On that happy note, I'm gonna go see if an ybody in teresti ng came in toni ght. -You mean, besides me.-Right.Bye.ni go get those gi

32、rls, bring them over here. and we'll have a con versati on like huma n bein gs.Then you're gonna home, and ni take them back to my apartme nt. Well, that sounds like fun for me.But you might want to get i n line, pal.-Hey, girl.-Hey, how are you?Hey, baby, can I get a couple Coronas at the p

33、ool table, please? Than ks.Excuse me.Lime wedges in the bottle's fine.Hey, asshole, I don't work here.rm sorry. The paramedics will have to come to get my foot out of my mouth, sweetheart. Just don't let it happe n aga in.-I knew you did n't work here.-You did?How else was I supposed

34、 to get you away from all those guys?Why would you want to do that?Some guys n aturally develop a comfort with the opposite sex.They like wome n, wome n like them. Everythi ng flows n aturally.Back in college, I was just not one of them. I seemed to lack the basic un dersta ndin g. that my peers jus

35、t in tuitively grasped.But like any late bloomer,I was eager to make up for lost time.Her n ame was Cressida Baylor.Can you tell mewhere the registrati on buildi ng is?And my life would n ever be the same.-I'm Alex.-Cressida.What we had was beautiful.I love you.I love you so much.I love you, too

36、, Alex.I know you don't love me as much as I love you.But that's okay.rm just glad you love me at all.In retrospect,I guess I may have come on a little strong. But the experie nee taught me a lot.Cressida!What are you doing?rm sorry, Alex.But I love you. What did I do wrong?Just tell me what

37、 I did wrong.You're doing it right now.Alex, I'm sorry.And it's an educatio nI feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men.Because with no guile and no game, there's no girl.If ever a man born was without game.it was Albert Brenn ama n.My bus in ess is % referral and, thus far, un trace

38、able.And if there's one thingve lear ned. whe n you orchestrate, coord in ate, and otherwise mess with fate.it's best to fly un der the radar.I hope she's sin gle'cause I don't do break-ups.Hi. Thank you for see ing me.Yeah, no.I mean, she just got out of a relati on ship.Is that

39、 a problem?Because if it is, that's fine.rm a little un comfortable with this any way.Defin itely bee n hurt a lot.I had a lot of bad experie nces.Some good on es.But defi nitely a lot of bad on es.rm desperate, basically.I mean, not in gen eral, you un dersta nd?You know, not just for an ybody.

40、But, man, for her. Yeah.Why don't you tell me about her?Let's see, what can I say?My compa ny han dles her finan ces.rm her tax con sulta nt.Well, I'm one of them.rm the junior man on the acco unt.-So does she know you're in terested?-No.Alive?I lent her my pen once.Shoot. Does anyon

41、e have a pen?-Here, take mine.-Albert, you're crush ing my arm.Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra.Allegra? As in Allegra Cole?Yeah, I realize that rm not her usual type.Well, her last boyfrie nd owned Swede n or someth ing.And that guy was a bum.He did n't seem likea very nice pers on to

42、 me.You swing for the fence.Look, you don't think I tried talk ing myself out of this?I mean, you don't think I know how ridiculous this is? I know, okay?I just thought that maybe with your help.You know what?rm really sorry I wasted your time.Hold on a sec ond, Albert.You know what it's

43、 likegetti ng up every morning feeli ng hopeless? Feeli ng like the love of your life is wak ing up with the wrong man?But at the same time,hop ing that she still finds happ in ess. even if it's n ever gonna be with you? You are flat-out.out of your mind. You know that? That's good.-It is?Yo

44、u ever heard of Michela ngelo?Heard of the Sisti ne Chapel?Michela ngelo.Sisti ne Chapel.You say ing you can do this?My n ame is Alex Hitche ns.Let's go paint that ceili ng.Take it easy.Oh, my God!Well, it looks like rm still rich.But what I would really like, and what I was won deri ng is.if I

45、could have $to in vest on my own.And what were you thinkingof in vest ing in, Allegra?Well, it's someth ingthat I really have a passi on for.Daydreams are for private time.When you're in the room, be in the room. Concen trate. Focus.Wome n resp ond whe n you resp ond to them. My frie nd Magg

46、ie is a tale nted desig ner.rve see n the bus in ess pla nand the samples look fan tastic.And I would really like to get i nvolved.I'll tell you what.Let us come up with a range of in vestme nts that we think you might be in terested in.and next mon th,we'll run the whole lot of them by you.

47、 Okay.Fine. Thank you. All right, gen tleme n.Let's go over this one more time.What is the objective?Shock and awe.That was shock in gly awful.What is the objective?Shock and awe.What is the objective?-Excuse me, sir.-Yes, Albert?I don't really agree with that.You don't really agree with

48、 what?I think if you want to in vest $in your frien d's bus in ess.that's exactly what you should do.You don't n eed us to tell you what to do.We're a board of advisers,not your kin dergarte n teachers.If you want to be take n seriouslyas an adult.then start tak ing yourself seriousl

49、yas an adult.in stead of ask ing for permissi onto in vest your own mon ey.from a boardroomfull of your daddy's golf buddies.-That's quite eno ugh!-I'm not fini shed.rd like to see an ybody in this room han dle the atte nti on and publicity.that she's had to deal with her whole life,

50、 with half her class.We should be tak ing advice from you, Miss Cole. Not the other way around. -Sit dow n.-No! You know what? I quit!Oh, my God.Just breathe. How'd it go?I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss!I quit my job!-What?-You said.-I gotta go back.-No, I did n't tell you to quit.Rel

51、ax. Okay, liste n, we're fine.-Would you let me go?-Albert, no!Just relax! Okay?-Just let it marin ate for a sec ond. Trust me.-No!Relax.-It's Allegra Cole.-An swer it.-Could I speak to you a sec ond?-An swer the door, Albert.Yes. Hi.What's up?Liste n, Albert, right?-People don't usu

52、ally talk to me like that.-Close your mouth, man.Let me rephrase that.People n ever talk to me like that.Stand up.I guess it's kind of scary for them.But that's why I really appreciatewhat you did in there.But I was won deri ng.do you think that you and I couldget together sometime this week

53、?You know, to go over thin gs.Finan cial thin gs.rd like to see the areaswhere I can afford to take some risks.-Check your schedule.-I'll check my schedule.Great. Let me give you my nu mber.Do you have a pen?I don't think I have one.-Yes, I do.-Great.And call me Allegra.-You're done.-Goo

54、dbye.Good job.Oh, damn.She's some kind of n ewspaper colu mni st.Comes in here once in a while. Great tipper. What's her drink?Usually beer.Toni ght, Grey Goose martini, dirty.Hi.I no ticed your glass was gett ing low.so I took the libertyof bringing you ano ther apple martini.Thank you.And

55、I could n't help but noticeyou look a lot like my n ext girlfrie nd.-What's your n ame?-They call me Chip.You can't get them to stop?That was funny.Liste n, I un dersta nd the courage it takesto walk across a room.and try to gen erate a relati on shipout of thin air.-So don't take th

56、e followi ng pers on ally.-You have fan tastic eyes.Than ks. Try to liste n.This is no reflect ion on you.rm just n ot in terested.But tha nk you for the complime nt of coming over.You're welcome.So do you like Cuba n food?Chip, seriously, that was not code for,"I wish you'd try harder.

57、"Are you always so shut-dow n and afraid that the right man might make you.Feel like a n atural woma n?Sorry rm late, hon ey.I could n't get a cab. How was the meet ing?Well, there was a begi nning,a middle, and an end.Nice to meet you, Chip.You, too.On the one hand,it is very difficult for

58、 a man.to even speak to some onewho looks like you.But on the other hand, should that be your problem?So life's kind of hard all around.Not if you pay atte ntio n.You're sending all the right sig nals: no earri ngs, heels un der two in ches, your hair is pulled back.weari ng readi ng glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martin i.which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just would n't do it.If that was n't clear eno ugh. there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead. Who'd believe t