Continuationwriting（4）

“五四三”法則--動作面

（魔力冰激凌）“五四三”法則Mikelickedthelastofthemintchocolatechip

icecream.Itwasalmosttimetoleave.Hejumpedintothecarwithhis

parents

andheadedofftotheOlympic-sized

pool

forthebigswimmeet.Whenhis

race

cameup,Mikewasconfident.Hewasstrongandswift.Mikeclimbedoutofthepool,smiling.Hehadjust

won

firstplace,makinghimthefastestboyinhisagegroup."Congratulations,son,"hisfathersaid.Hismomgavehimahug,eventhoughhewassoakingwet.Aweeklater,itwastimeforanotherswimmeet.Likebefore,Mikedecidedtoenjoyhisfavoriteicecreamflavor.Mikerememberedthatthelasttimehehadwonarace,healsoatemintchocolatechipicecreamfirst.Maybehe'dwinagain.He’staken

firstplace

againinhisrace.Mikewasfeelingprettygood.Asitturnedout,MikedecidedtohavesomemintchocolatechipIcecreambeforeeveryoneofthenextfewswimmeets.Hebegantothinkofitashis

luckycharm.Afterseveralmonthsofplacinginthetoppositionsofeveryraceheswam,Mikewasfeelingunbeatable.Andhewouldn’tadmitit,butallthaticecreamwasaddingafewpoundstohisathleticswimmer'sbuild.Itdidn’ttakelongafterthatforMiketostartcominginsecondplace-andthenthird-andthenlastplaceinhisraces.Theluckymintchocolatechipicecreamhadlostits

magic.Onthedayofhisnextswimmeet,hismothersatdownatthetablewithhim.“Mike,weallloveicecream,butit'snot

healthy

foryourbodytoeatsomuchofit.Maybeit'stimetoquitthesweettreatsforawhile,especiallybeforeyougoswimming.Mikeunwillinglyagreed.Hewenttotheswimmeet,anddidn’t

perform

well.Hisfatherofferedtogorunningwithhimafewdaysaweektohelphimfeelbetterandstrengthenhismuscles.Theextraweightsoondisappeared,andMikefoundhimselfbreathingeasieratswimpractices.It

was

the

last

meet

of

the

season,

and

Mike

wasn’t

sure

what

to

expect.He

felt

healthyagain,but

he

didn’t

know

if

he

still

had

any

speed

in

the

pool.注意：1.續寫的詞數應為150個左右；2.請按如下格式在相應位置作答。Ashe

dove

into

the

water,he

kicked

his

legs

and

stretched

his

arms

as

far

as

he

could.____________________________His

jaw

dropped

as

he

realized

he

had

beaten

his

own

best

time,and

everyone

else

too.____________________________Mikelickedthelastofthemintchocolatechip

icecream.Itwasalmosttimetoleave.Hejumpedintothecarwithhis

parents

andheadedofftotheOlympic-sized

pool

forthebigswimmeet.Whenhis

race

cameup,Mikewasconfident.Hewasstrongandswift.Mikeclimbedoutofthepool,smiling.Hehadjust

won

firstplace,makinghimthefastestboyinhisagegroup."Congratulations,son,"hisfathersaid.Hismomgavehimahug,eventhoughhewassoakingwet.Aweeklater,itwastimeforanotherswimmeet.Likebefore,Mikedecidedtoenjoyhisfavoriteicecreamflavor.Mikerememberedthatthelasttimehehadwonarace,healsoatemintchocolatechipicecreamfirst.Maybehe'dwinagain.He’staken

firstplace

againinhisrace.Mikewasfeelingprettygood.Asitturnedout,MikedecidedtohavesomemintchocolatechipIcecreambeforeeveryoneofthenextfewswimmeets.Hebegantothinkofitashis

luckycharm.Afterseveralmonthsofplacinginthetoppositionsofeveryraceheswam,Mikewasfeelingunbeatable.Andhewouldn’tadmitit,butallthaticecreamwasaddingafewpoundstohisathleticswimmer'sbuild.Itdidn’ttakelongafterthatforMiketostartcominginsecondplace-andthenthird-andthenlastplaceinhisraces.Theluckymintchocolatechipicecreamhadlostits

magic.Onthedayofhisnextswimmeet,hismothersatdownatthetablewithhim.“Mike,weallloveicecream,butit'snot

healthy

foryourbodytoeatsomuchofit.Maybeit'stimetoquitthesweettreatsforawhile,especiallybeforeyougoswimming.Mikeunwillinglyagreed.Hewenttotheswimmeet,anddidn’t

perform

well.Hisfatherofferedtogorunningwithhimafewdaysaweektohelphimfeelbetterandstrengthenhismuscles.Theextraweightsoondisappeared,andMikefoundhimselfbreathingeasieratswimpractices.It

was

the

last

meet

of

the

season,

and

Mike

wasn’t

sure

what

to

expect.He

felt

healthyagain,but

he

didn’t

know

if

he

still

had

any

speed

in

the

pool.“五四三”法則（一）五R解讀故事1.Readforcharacters3.Readforconflicts2.Readforplots4.Readforemotionalchanges5.ReadforthethemeTruesuccesscomesfromhardworkanddetermination,notfromrelyingonso-called"luckycharms".ConfidenceandJoyDependenceandOverconfidenceDisappointmentandFrustrationHesitationandUncertaintyMike'srelianceona"luckycharm"andreality,andhowheovercomesthisdependency.“五四三”法則（二）四句定框架1.先寫最后一句，即主題句2.再寫銜接句，即第一段的最后一句

Mikewasawarethaticecreamwasneverhisluckycharm.Hisstrongwilltowinwas,instead!Thelast5minutessawhimdashtothefinishlinefirst,followedbytheendoftherace.Ashedoveintothewater,hekickedhislegsandstretchedhisarmsasfarashecould.__________________________________Hisjawdroppedasherealizedhehadbeatenhisownbesttime,andeveryoneelsetoo.____________________________________4.補充完整每段的中間部分3.根據每段的段首句寫銜接句Heswamforwardwithallhismight,feelingenergizedandfullofconfidence.Gettingoutoftheswimmingpool,hefelttheflowersinhisheartalreadyinbloom.他的心情如何游（三）三大原則1.Action—Response原則一個角色的所言、所行、所感、所想會引起其他角色的一系列反應。每段可以有1至2句對話，但是不一定兩個人都要說話，無聲的動作也是一種反應。2.Conflict—Solution原則一般而言第二段會有問題的解決方法，但本文和其他高考的讀后續寫文章出題不一樣，因為解決方法在所給文章中就已經有了。同時思考：能否在第一段出現一個問題，然后把它解決了或者沒有解決。一方面是增加看點，另一方面也是給第二段作鋪墊。3.Negative—Positive原則寫作中一定要體現情感的變化，但無論前面是怎樣的變化，最終都應該是積極的。“五四三”法則Predicttheendingandcomposetheplot(預測故事走向）04LogicalPlottingwiththegivenkeywords情節推理和關鍵詞協同P1:Ashedoveintothewater,hekickedhislegsandstretchedhisarmsasfarashecould..P2:Hisjawdroppedasherealizedhehadbeatenhisownbesttime,andeveryoneelsetoo.Q1:Didtheswimmeetgosmoothly?(othercompetitors)Q2:WhatdidMikedo?Q3:WhatdidMikefeel?Q4:DidMikewintheswimmeet?

Q1:HowdidMikefeel?Q2:Whatdidhisparentsdoandsay?Q3:WhatdidMikethinkandsay?Q4:Whatdidthestoryintendtotellreaders?主（次）要人物所思所想所感所說所做theracefinish能否在第一段出現一個問題，然后把它解決了或者沒有解決。一方面是增加看點，另一方面也是給第二段作鋪墊。III.ActionScene（動作面）人物+動作鏡頭1:語言描寫(Languagedescription)局部整體鏡頭2:心理描寫(Psychologicaldescription)鏡頭3:神態描寫(情緒描寫)(Mannerdescription)ActionScene—Languagedescription(語言描寫)主語+謂語(動作A)，說的內容(使用非謂語)Herushedawayimmediately.他大聲地喊(shout)：“誰能來救救我啊？”Herushedawayimmediately,shoutingloudly,“Whocouldhelpme?”Hisfatherpathimontheshoulder,sayingjokingly,“Hey,whynottryyourfavoriteicecreamandcelebrate?”他的父親拍了拍他的肩膀，開玩笑地說：“嘿，為什么不嘗嘗你最喜歡的冰淇淋慶祝一下呢？”Herushedawayimmediatelyandcouldn’thelpthinking,“Ididn’twanttodie.”ActionScene—Psychologicaldescription(心理描寫)“Icanwintherace,”hemadeuphismind/hesaidtohimself,withhiseyesfixedonthefinishlineforward.“我能贏得這場比賽。”他下定決心/他對自己說，眼睛緊盯著前方的終點線。Hefixedhiseyesonthefinishlineforward,andmadeuphismind/saidtohimself,“Icanwintherace.”主語+謂語(動作A)，神態描寫(使用獨立主格結構或者With復合結構)Hecriedscaredlyandloudlywithtearsrollingdown.ActionScene--Mannerdescription(神態描寫)“Thanks,Dad,butIhavegivenuptheicecream.It’snotsuchaluckycharmatall.”Mikereplied

withhiseyesshininglikeadiamond.“謝謝，爸爸，但我已經放棄冰淇淋了。它根本不是什么幸運符。”邁克回答道，眼睛像鉆石一樣閃閃發光。VividActiondescription1.IndividualVerb2.ActionChainAdv(副詞/表示心情類的副詞)/PP(介詞短語)3.ActionScene2.1Coordinateconjunction(并列連詞)2.2Non-infinitiveform(非謂語)3.1Languagedescription(語言描寫)+(非謂語)3.2Psychological(心理)description3.3Manner(神態)description+(With的復合結構)Ashedoveintothewater,hekickedhislegsandstretchedhisarmsasfarashecould.

Heswamforwardwithallhismight,feeling

energized

and

fullofconfidence.“Icanwintherace,”hemadeuphismind,withhiseyesfixedonthefinishlineforward.Suddenly,anotherswimmerswampast,sohefelthisheartbeatingfastandhis