動作合情合理滿分攻略滿分攻略攻略---動作、心理和對話描寫，讓續(xù)寫細節(jié)更生動利用恰當?shù)膭釉~進行符合特定情境的動作描寫，真實準確地描述動作過程，以“動”傳神。與此同時可以適當利用契合人物性格特點的心理描寫和對話描寫，使續(xù)寫部分更為生動。一、動作描寫1.動作描寫的3個原則①要準確：表現(xiàn)一個動作可以利用許多動詞，但應恰當利用最準確的動詞，刻畫對應的動作。②有過程：展示人物個性的動作時，應通過細節(jié)描寫展示出動作的過程，在續(xù)寫時，應按動作的先后順序敘述整個過程。③用修飾：在描寫動作時，可利用各種狀語，說明時間、地點、原因、伴隨等情況，使動作描寫更豐富。2.動作描寫常用的高分素材與肢體語言相關的動作描寫素材(1)head①Sheturnedandheadedforthedoor.她轉身朝門走去。②Heburied/put/heldhisheadinhands,greatlyannoyed.他雙手抱頭，非常生氣。③Manypeopleintheaudiencenoddedinagreement.許多觀眾點頭表示贊同。④Ifellasleepassoonasmyheadhitthepillow.頭一碰枕頭我就睡著了。⑤Hehung/dropped/lowered/bent/bowedhisheadinshame.他羞愧地低下了頭。(2)face①Herfacepaledwithfright.她嚇得臉都白了。②Abrightsmileappearedon/spreadacross/crossedhisface.他的臉上露出了燦爛的笑容。③Herfacelitup/brightened/glowedwhenIgaveherthepresent.我給她禮物時，她的臉上煥發(fā)出了光彩。(3)cheek①Colorrushed/flooded/rosetohercheekswhensherealizedshewasbeingwatched.意識到有人在看她，她頓時漲紅了臉。②Hefelthischeeksburningwithshame.他因為羞愧而感到臉頰發(fā)燒。③Hercheekswerewetwithtears.她淚流滿面。(4)eye①Heturnedhiseyestothedoorwhenheheardthehandleturning.聽到門把轉動的聲音，他向門那邊看去。②Tinasqueezedhereyesshutandbitherlip.蒂娜閉上雙眼，咬了咬嘴唇。③Shelookedatherfatherstraightintheeyeandansweredhisquestiontruthfully.她直視父親的眼睛，誠實地回答了他的問題。④Shetriedtositup,hereyesfixedonJoan'sface.她試圖坐起來，雙眼緊盯著瓊的臉。⑤Ifelttearswellupinmyeyes.我感到淚水在眼里涌出來。(5)mouth①Ourmouthsdroppedopeninsurprise.我們驚奇地張大了嘴。②MymouthstartedwateringwhenIsmelledthefood.聞到食物的香味，我開始流口水了。③MyheartwasinmymouthwhenIwalkedintoheroffice.我走進她的辦公室時，緊張得心都提到嗓子眼了。(6)hand①Shetookthechild'shandandhelpedhimclimbthesteps.她拉住孩子的手牽著他爬上臺階。②Hereachedforherhandandheldittightly.他伸手抓住她的手并緊緊握住。③Sheshruggedandspreadherhands.“That'sallIcantellyou.”她聳聳肩，攤開雙手說：“我只能告訴你這么多了。”④Sheshivered,rubbingherhandstogetherfiercely.她一邊顫抖，一邊使勁搓著雙手。⑤Herhandsshook/trembledassheliftedtheglasstoherlips.她的手顫抖著把杯子送到唇邊。(7)arm①Hewasrunningforward,wavinghisarms.他揮舞著胳膊向前跑著。②Hestoodtherewithcrossedarms,lookingangry.他交叉著雙臂站在那里，看上去怒氣沖沖。③Shefoldedherarmsandstaredathim.她交叉著雙臂注視著他。二、心理描寫1.心理描寫的2種方法心理描寫可以揭示人物的內心世界，表達人物的性格、特點、感情和思想等。心理描寫可以運用直接描寫和間接描寫兩種方法。①直接描寫：直接寫主人公的想法、感受、打算等，在具體寫作時，可用“Ifelt”“shethought”“hewould”等句式。②間接描寫：人物的性格不同，情緒不同，其所表現(xiàn)出的動作和神態(tài)也就不同，因此可以利用人物的動作和神態(tài)體現(xiàn)其心理，也可以利用語言描寫表現(xiàn)人物心理。2.心理描寫的高分素材(1)表“害怕”的心理①Mythroattightenedandmykneesfeltweak.我喉嚨發(fā)緊，雙膝發(fā)軟。②Ifrozewithterror,tooscaredtomoveaninch.我嚇呆了，一動也不動。(2)表“憤怒”的心理①Herfacecloudedwithanger.她滿臉怒氣。②Hisvoicetrembledwithanger.他氣得聲音發(fā)抖。③Heletoutcriesofanger.他發(fā)出憤怒的喊聲。(3)表“悲傷和絕望”的心理①Hisheartsankatthenews.聽到這個消息，他的心一沉。②Overcomewithbitterdisappointment,helockedhimselfupinhisroom.由于極度失望，他把自己鎖在房間里。③Hewasabruptlythrownintoaworldofdarknessandsankintohopelessness.他突然被拋進一個黑暗的世界，陷入絕望。(4)表“尷尬、緊張”的心理Sweatwaspouringdownmyface.汗水從我臉上滾落下來。(5)表“震驚”的心理①Shefrozewithshock,asifrootedtothespot.她吃驚得呆住了，就像在原地生了根似的。②Hereyeswidenedfurtherandhismouthopened.她的眼睛睜得更大了，他的嘴張開了。三、對話描寫1.對話描寫的3種表現(xiàn)形式①提示語在前，如Afewminuteslater,shesaid,“Grandmother,Iamfinishednow.”②提示語在后，如“HereisSusan！”thegirlscried.③提示語在中間，如“I'dliketogowithyou，”repliedSusan,“butIcannotfinishthetaskgrandmothersetmetodo.”2.對話描寫的3個原則在進行續(xù)寫時，應根據(jù)故事情節(jié)發(fā)展和人物特征靈活運用對話描寫優(yōu)化續(xù)寫部分的語言。利用對話描寫時，應注重3個原則。①控制對話的比重。對話雖有助于推動故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展，但不能代替故事情節(jié)。讀后續(xù)寫的對話部分所占比重不應高過敘事部分的比重。②對話內容應符合人物特點。不同的人物有不同的身份和性格，因此他們的話語應與原文人物特點吻合。③對話內容應緊扣原文主旨。所寫對話應圍繞某一中心或話題，且應與原文主旨一致，這樣續(xù)寫部分的思路才是清晰明朗的，才能契合故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展。如果沒有一個固定的中心，隨意對話，就會顯得不知所云，偏離故事的主題。例如攻略3中的例題第一段中可利用母親與父親的簡短對話體現(xiàn)母親健忘的性格。【寫作演示】閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應為150左右。(2020年1月，浙江卷)“I'mgoingtomissyousomuch,Poppy，”saidthetall,thinteenager.Heeq\a\vs4\al(bentdown)tohughisoldfriendgoodbye.Heeq\a\vs4\al(stoodup)，eq\a\vs4\al(hugged)hisparents,andeq\a\vs4\al(smiled)，tryingnottolethisemotions(情緒)getthebetterofhim.Hisparentswerenotquiteabletokeeptheirsundercontrol.Theyhaddriventheirsonseveralhoursoutoftowntotheuniversitywherehewouldsoonbelivingandstudying.Itwastimetosaygoodbyefornowatleast.Thefamilyeq\a\vs4\al(hugged)andeq\a\vs4\al(smiled)throughmistyeyesandtheneq\a\vs4\al(laughed).Theboyeq\a\vs4\al(lifted)thelastbagontohisshoulder,andeq\a\vs4\al(flashed)abrightsmile.“Iguessthisisit.”hesaid.“I'llseeyoubackhomeinamonth,okay？”Hisparentseq\a\vs4\al(nodded)，andtheyeq\a\vs4\al(watched)asheeq\a\vs4\al(walked)outofsightintothecrowdsofhundredsofstudentsandparents.Theboy'smotherturnedtothedog,“Okay,Poppy,timetogobackhome.”Thehouseseemedquietasatombwithouttheboylivingthere.Allthatweek,Poppydidn'tseeminterestedinherdinner,herfavoritetoy,oreveninherdailywalk.Herownersweresadtoo,buttheyknewtheirsonwouldbebacktovisit.Poppydidn't.Theyofferedthedogsomeofherfavoritepeanutbuttertreats.Theyevenlethersitonthesofa,buttheoldgirljustwasn'therusualcheerfulself.Herownersstartedtogetworried,“WhatshouldwedotocheerPoppyup？”askedDad.“We'vetriedeverything.”“Ihaveanidea,butitmightbealittlecrazy，”smiledMom.“Withoutanybodyleftinthehousebutus,thisplacecoulduseabitoffun.Let'sgetalittledogforPoppy.”Itdidn'ttakelongbeforetheywalkedthroughthefrontdoorcarryingabigbox.Poppywelcomedthemhomeasusual,butwhensheeq\a\vs4\al(saw)thebox,sheeq\a\vs4\al(stopped).Sheeq\a\vs4\al(puthernoseon)it.Hertailbeganeq\a\vs4\al(wagging)(擺動)eversoslowly,thenfasterassheeq\a\vs4\al(caught)thesmell.Paragraph1Dadopenedtheboxandasweetlittledogappeared.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2Afewweekslater,theboyarrivedhomefromtheuniversity.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【續(xù)寫思路點撥】1.細讀原文，明確敘述意圖原文敘述要去上大學的男孩和父母和小狗Poppy依依不舍地告別。Poppy自小主人走后便悶悶不樂，對自己愛吃的食物也不感興趣。男孩的父母決定找一個小狗陪伴Poppy。不難推斷出文章旨在描述Poppy是否又開心起來。2.根據(jù)段落開頭語，圍繞原文主旨，確定續(xù)寫情節(jié)確定敘述意圖后，定位續(xù)寫段落開頭語關鍵信息分別是“asweetlittledogappeared”和“Afewweekslater,theboyarrivedhome”可推斷第一段續(xù)寫部分應敘述Poppy看到小狗后的反應和她的心情變化——是否轉憂為喜？而續(xù)寫部分第二段應敘述男孩回到家時渴望見到Poppy的心情和動作，以及見到小狗后的反應。3.體會原文動作、心理和對話描寫①eq\a\vs4\al(具體的動作描寫)：原文在前三段中利用了大量的動作描寫(具體動作在原文中已加灰底)描寫一家人道別時的依依不舍，同時利用多次出現(xiàn)的hugged和smiled暗示這一家人濃濃的親情。原文最后一段中的一系列動作(加灰底單詞)生動地描述Poppy見到小狗前的反應。②心理描寫：原文前三段中的“tryingnottolethisemotions(情緒)getthebetterofhim”和“notquiteabletokeeptheirsundercontrol”及“mistyeyes”體現(xiàn)男孩和他的父母在離別之際的依依不舍。第4～5段中的形容詞quiet,interested,sad,worried具體地描述出男孩不在家時這家人對男孩的思念以及男孩父母對Poppy的關心。③eq\a\vs4\al(對話描寫)：原文出現(xiàn)四處對話描寫，前三段在男孩離開之前的對話描寫，體現(xiàn)了男孩舍不得離開父母和Poppy的心情。原文最后三段中的對話描寫表現(xiàn)了男孩的父母想方設法想讓Poppy高興起來的迫切心理。4.沿用原文語言特點，完成讀后續(xù)寫原文在動作、心理和對話描寫方面不吝筆墨，因此續(xù)寫部分也應著重使用動作、心理和對話描寫。【參考范文】Paragraph1Dadopenedtheboxandasweetlittledogappeared.Poppyjumpedwithjoyatthesightofthelittledog.Sheloweredherheadtowatchitcuriously.Thenshebecamesoexcitedthatsheaccidentallyknockedovertheboxinanattempttogetcloser.Withtheboxtippingover,outcamethelittleone,whowasnotshyandinstantlygotfamiliarwithPoppy.Itdidn'ttakelongbeforethetwoplayedaroundthehouse,cheerfullyrunningaftereachother.Paragraph2真題演練Afewweekslater,theboyarrivedhomefromtheuniversity.Hehadbeenmissinghisparentsandthedogsinceitwasthefirsttimethathehadbeenawayfromhomeforsuchalongtime.WhentheboycaughtsightofPoppy,hewentrushingtowardthedogandbentdowntogiveherabighug.Suddenly,theboynoticedthelittledog.“Ohmygod,whoisthis？”Hisparentslaughedatthelookofsurpriseonhisface.“It'sPoppy'snewcompanion.”saidMom.真題演練（2020年，新高考全國I卷，山東）閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構成一篇完整的短文。TheMeredithfamilylivedinasmallcommunity.Astheeconomywasindecline,somepeopleinthetownhadlosttheirjobs.Manyoftheirfamilieswerestrugglingtomakeendsmeet.Peopleweretryingtohelpeachothermeetthechallenges.Mrs.Meredithwasamostkindandthoughtfulwoman.Shespentagreatdealoftimevisitingthepoor.Sheknewtheyhadproblems,andtheyneededallkindsofhelp.Whenshehadtime,shewouldbringfoodandmedicinetothem.Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasamansickinbed,hiswife,whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork,andtheirlittleboy.Thelittleboy-hisnamewasBernard-hadinterestedherverymuch.“Iwishyoucouldseehim,”shesaidtoherownchildren,John,Harry,andClara.“Heissuchahelptohismother.Hewantsverymuchtoearnsomemoney,butIdon'tseewhathecando.”Aftertheirmotherlefttheroom,thechildrensatthinkingaboutBernard.“Iwishwecouldhelphimtoearnmoney,”saidClara.“Hisfamilyissufferingsomuch.”“SodoI,”saidHarry.“Wereallyshoulddosomethingtoassistthem.”Forsomemoments,Johnsaidnothing,but,suddenly,hesprangtohisfeetandcried,“Ihaveagreatidea!Ihaveasolutionthatwecanallhelpaccomplish(完成).”Theotherchildrenalsojumpedupallattention.WhenJohnhadanidea,itwassuretobeagoodone.“Itellyouwhatwecando,”saidJohn.“YouknowthatbigboxofcornUncleJohnsentus?Well,wecanmakepopcorn(爆米花),andputitintopaperbags,andBernardcantakeitaroundtothehousesandsellit.”注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右:2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn'sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Witheverythingready,Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【參考范文】WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn’sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.So,theywenttothelocalsupermarkettogether.Theyboughtabagofcornandsomespecialbagsforpopcorn.Whentheygothome,theymadealotofpopcornandputitinthespecialbags.Withthepopcorn,theywenttoBernard’shome.TheytoldBernardhowtosellthepopcorn.Bernardandhisparentswereverygrateful.AndtheMeredithfamilyalsofeltveryhappytohelpthisfamily.Witheverythingr