八省聯考讀后續寫深度分析及配套練習IwasinPhiladelphiaforaconferencewhenIsawanadinthehotel.Anearbytheaterwasshowingadocumentary(紀錄片)aboutseverallocalanimalsheltersthatwerehelpingtosaveabandoneddogsacrossthecountry.Iloveanimals,andIfeltanurgetogotothisfundraisingevent.However,noneofmyco-workerswouldgowithme,andIwasworriedaboutwalkingonthestreetaloneatnight.人物I,co-worker場景inPhiladelphia,aconference,hotel,theater,street事件adocumentaryaboutanimalshelters伏筆1.Otherssavedabandoneddogs；2.Iwenttothefundraisingevent；3.Iwasworriedaboutwalkingonthestreetaloneatnight.語言風格主謂賓結構，配簡單從句。第一人稱陳述，and用語較多。語言相對平實，情緒穩定。Iresignedmyselftospendingtheeveninginmyhotelroom,butassoonasIgotbacktomyroomIfeltrestlessandbored.Thetheaterwheretheeventwastakingplacewasonlyaboutfiveblocksfromthehotel,andtheareaaroundthehoteldidn’tseemparticularlydangerous.So,Idecidedtobraveit.Igatheredupmywalletandroomkeyandsetoff.人物I場景hotelroom,theater事件HowIpersuadedmyselftotakeastepforward.伏筆1.Ifeltrestlessandbored.2.Itdidn’tseemparticularlydangerous.3.Idecidedtogo.語言風格依舊以簡單句行文，但在心理活動描寫上加了筆墨。braveit是點睛之筆，可在續寫處再次提及。Itwasalreadygettingdarkandthestreetswerenearlydeserted.Imanagedtofindthestreetthetheaterwason,butwhenIturnedthecorner,Istoppedinshock.Infrontofthetheaterwereagroupofbikers—verybig,tough-lookingbikers.人物I,bikers場景street,infrontofthetheater事件Ihappenedtomeetsomeunexpectedguyswhobotheredmealot.伏筆1.desertedstreets;2.inshock;3.verybig,tough-lookingbikers語言風格本段主要以描寫場景、心理狀態以及人物外貌的形容詞，不斷烘托故事的情緒氛圍。I’veknownlotsofmotorcycleenthusiastsandmostarenicepeople.However,inthiscase,Iwasawomanallalone,inastrangeneighborhood,atnight,andthereweretwentyorsoverylargemen—allwearinginsignia(徽章)thatindicatedtheywereinsomesortofclub—standingbeforeme.Warningbellsbegantosoundinmyhead,andmyheartwaspounding.WasIattherighttheater?HadImisreadthedateoftheevent?人物I,bikers場景infrontofthetheater事件Ithoughtaboutthepastexperience,butwhatIsawinfrontofthetheaterleftmedisturbing.伏筆1.thecomparisonbetweenthepastandpresent;2.insigniaandsomesortofclub;3.somethinghappenedinmyheadandheart語言風格本段以心理活動為主，作者本人在面對某種“危險”時，腦海里一陣翻江倒海，各種天人交戰，通過介詞短語的插入語成分，以一頓一頓的方式，不斷將某種緊張氣氛烘托到嗓子眼。AsignoutsidethetheatertoldmethatIwasintherightplaceontherightevening.Nevertheless,IwonderedifIshouldrushbacktomyhotelinsteadofwalkingthroughthatcrowdofbikers.IfinallydecidedthatIwouldbesaferinsidethetheater.Hopefully,thebikerswouldhavegoneawaybythetimethefilmwasover.人物I,bikers場景infrontofthetheater事件Afterthinkingforawhile,Idecidedtocontinuemy“adventure”.伏筆1.thesign;2.crowdofbikers;3.safeordangerous語言風格本段繼續以心理活動為主，且并未和機車手產生互動，這為后文埋下了伏筆。Ihurriedintothetheater,onlytofindtherewereevenmorebikersinside._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Whenthefilmbegan,Irealizedthatthebikerswereananimalrescuegroup._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________續寫的建議：1.續寫需要在文字風格上保持一定的一致性【本文續寫：心理活動和場景的細節描寫應該擺在首位】；2.續寫應符合一定的人設【本文作者心理活動較多，則明顯屬于內向之人，具有一定的“社恐”屬性，續寫時不應過度以對話或互動形式渲染】；3.續寫還要將前文的坑一一填上【本文的坑如上所述的伏筆】；4.切勿刻意升華主題【本文可著眼于機車手的前后反差對比】。5.句式結構選擇：①簡單句以主謂賓為主，加簡單的從句或并列句；②心理描寫以具體細節為主，如手、腦、眼神等等表現自己的緊張情緒；③情緒描寫以形容詞和介賓結構相結合的方式，需要直接表現時，用形容詞；需要一定的烘托時，用介賓結構；④語選擇，以伏筆的復現為最優解，最終解決前后文的沖突，消除‘震驚。6.續寫兩段內容：①第一段以“我”的感受和所見所聞為主，以動作和心理活動表現不斷抬高“緊張”感，可借助機車手的言行給“我”帶來的壓迫感，來表現“我”的坐立不安；②第二段要結合紀錄片的內容，揭開機車手的“真正面目”，后者可通過對這些機車手的“反差式”表現進行描寫，最后以“我”的認知作為結尾,今晚不虛此行。【配套練習】1．（2024?瓊海模擬）InahousefarfromthecitylivedJohnandhismother.John'sonlyhobbywaswanderinginthenearbypicturesqueforest.Initscenterwasashinyclearlakewithschoolsoffishdancinginit.Lovelyanimalssuchasdeerorrabbitswereplayingaroundandcutebirdsweresingingintrees.Fascinatedbythebeautyandlivelinessofnature,hedesiredtobecomeagreatartistandpresentallthebreath﹣takingscenestotheworld.Johnstudiedinthelocalprimaryschool.LifewasnoteasyforJohnandhismomafterhisfatherdied.Knowingwhathardworkhismotherdidtomakeendsmeet,Johnreallydidn'twanthismothertoworry.Hismotherknewthesignificanceofeducationinlifebutshewasagainsthisdreamofbecominganartist."Theprofessionofartistcan'taidapersoninmeetinghisdailyexpenses,"shewouldsay.Butaseachdaypassed,John'sdreambecamemorepassionate.Duetothelivingcircumstances,evenbuyingsomenewcolorswouldbealuxury.Johnonlyusedtheworndrawingfileandlimitedcolorsforhisdailypractice.Thoughlackingfinepaintingmaterials,henevergaveupdrawing.Hespentasignificantamountoftimestayingintheforest,secretlyperfectinghiscraft.Withcontinuoushardworkandadistinctgiftforart,hedrewbeautifully.OnedayJohnreadaboutacompetitionbeingheldinthetown,whosedeadlinewasonlytwodaysaway.Hegottheperfectopportunitytofulfillhisdesirebuthewasinadilemma（兩難境地）asforthecompetitionheneededspecialpaintsandsomebrushes.Hedidn'thavethecouragetoaskhismotherformoneyasheknewherprejudiceagainstart.Thateveninghismomreturnedfromworkandhandedhimafewpapernotes,saying,"Thisisforyourlunchatschoolnextmonth."Themoneywasenoughforhisdesiredmaterials!John'sfacelitup.注意：（1）續寫詞數應為150左右；（2）請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.______Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn'shome.______2．（2024?安慶模擬）Onmyfirstsummervacationasajuniorhighschoolstudent,Iclimbedmyfirstmountain—afairlygentle3,900﹣footpeaknearwhereIliveinSurrey,BritishColumbia.IwasoverweightatthetimeandoutofbreathwhenIreachedthesummit.ButIlovedthechallengeofconqueringsomethingbiggerthanmyself.SoonIclimbednearly100peaks.MyparentswerehappyI'dfinallyfoundahobby.IoftenwentclimbingwithmyfriendMelOlsen,whomI'dmetinaFacebookgroup.LastDecember,I,togetherwithMel,cametoOregontotackle11,240﹣footMountHood.It'ssafertostartwinterclimbsatnightwhenthere'slessriskofthesunmeltingthesnowpack.Thatdaywestartedat3am,followingthepathsalongsidetheskiruns.Thetemperaturewasabout14°,andweworelayerswecouldeasilyremove,knowingthesportswouldmakeuswarm.Alongtheway,wemettwootherclimbers,andthefourofuscontinuedontogether.Afteraboutfivehours,wereachedDevil'sKitchen,aplateau（高原）atabout10,000feet.Bythispoint,thewindwashowling.Myexposedskinfeltasthoughitwereburning.Theotherclimbersdecidedtoturnback,butMelandIwentahead.Wehadiceaxes,helmets,andcrampons（攀登釘鞋）.Wewereinhighspiritsandpreparedfortheclimb.Thetrailwefollowedgrewnarrowerandsteeper.Ataround9am,wereachedaflightoficestep.Itwasaboutthreeorfourfeettallandslopedata75﹣degreeangle.Ivolunteeredtogofirst.Iplacedmyleftfootontheicestep.ConfidentIwassafe,Iputmyfullweightonit.Suddenly,Iheardacrack,andawholeslaboficebrokeoffthestep,rightundermyfoot.Inaninstant,IfellbackwardbeforeImadeanyresponse.IcouldhearMelcallingmynameinatremblingvoiceasItumbleddown,bouncingofftherockface,androllingdownthemountainasifIwereacharacterinavideogame.Irememberthinking：Thisisit.You'redone.注意：（1）續寫詞數應為150詞左右；（2）請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Istuckoutmyarmsandlegshopelessly,grabbingatanything.______AsMelmadeherwaydown,Iyelledforhelp,andotherclimberscametomyrescue.______3．（2024?遵義二模）BelindaandRobertStonewereenjoyingapeacefulafternoontogetherinBarbados—theirfavoritevacationdestination.Itwasawarmafternoon,andtheydecideditwastheperfecttimetogoforanoceanswim."Wewerefloatingaround,sayinghowenjoyablethiswas,whataterrificholiday."saidBelinda."Weswamout,notthatfarbutenoughtobeoutofourdepth."Thecouple—wholiveinLondon—arebothrelativelystrongswimmers,Belindasaid,sothey"feltfullyconfident"beingintheocean.Buttheyhadn'tconsideredjusthowstrongthecurrentwasthatparticularday.AlthoughtheyhadvisitedBarbadosseveraltimes,theydidn'trealizethespecificareatheyswamtowasknownforitsstrongriptide（激流）.Thecouplenoticedthattheywerefloatinginthedirectionoftheneighboringbeach,soBelindadecidedtoswimtowardthebeachtheycamefrom,againstthecurrent.Shesoonrealizedthatherhusbandwasfloatingbehind—andwassuddenlytoofarawaytoevenhearher.Sheattemptedtoswimtotheshoretogethelpbutstruggledtopushpastthecurrent."Ijustcouldn'tgetanywhere,"saidBelinda,64,whobegantoscreamoutforalifeguard.Noonecameafterafewminutes.Twoteenagegirls—Emma.14,andZoe,13—weresurfboardingneartheshore.TheywereinBarbadosaspartofaswimmingcampandbothexperiencedinthewater.ZoespottedBelinda,whowasabout85feetaway,andheardhercriesforhelp.ThetwogirlsquicklyreachedBelinda,andZoehelpedpullherontothesurfboard.TheyswamparalleltotheshoreandbroughtBelindatosafety.Belinda,gratefulbutstillscared,toldthemthatherhusbandwasstuckfartheroutintheocean.注意：（1）續寫詞數應為150左右；（2）請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Paragraph1：Thegirlsweretheonlyonesatthewater'sedge._______Paragraph2：Finally,theymadeittoshore._______4．（2024?安徽二模）InasmalltownlivesanoldmannamedMr.Benson.Helivesalone.Hehasabigscaronhisfacethatmakeshimlookalittlescary.Noonetalkstohim,andnoonehelpshimcarryhisthingsupthedifficultstairstohishome.Mr.Bensondoesnothaveanyfriends.Heisnotmarried.Butoneday,anewfamilymovesintotheneighborhood.Theyareanicecouple,Mr.andMrs.Clarence,andtheirchildren,AmandaandDavid.TheymoveintothebuildingwhereMr.Bensonlives.Theotherpeoplewholiveinthebuildingwelcomethenewfamily.TheysayhellotoAmandaandDavid,buttheytellthemnottotalktoMr.Benson."Heisascaryoldman.Hehasnofriendsandhehasastrangescar."Amanda,David,andtheirparentsthinkthisisverysillyadvice.WhentheyseeMr.Bensoninthehallwayorinthestreetoutsidetheirbuilding,theyalwayssayhellowithasmileandaskhowheisfeelingtoday.Mr.Bensonisveryhappytoseethem.Hetellsthemtheyarealwayswelcomeinhishome.HegivesAmandaandDavidsomedeliciouscupcakestoeat.Mr.andMrs.ClarencealwayshelpMr.Bensonwithhisgroceries,andAmandaandDavidliketositanddrinkteawithhim.Hetellswonderfulstories!Hewasonceaveryfamouschef,andhemakesthemostdeliciousdessertsinthewholeworld,inAmanda'sopinion.Oneevening,alltheneighborsinthebuildinghearlaughterandthesoundsofcupsandplatesandsilverwareinMr.Benson'sapartment.Theyareveryconfused!Itsoundslikeadelightfuldinner.Theyallwonderwhytheyarenotinvited.注意：（1）續寫詞數應為150左右；（2）請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Thenextday,Mrs.Clarencetalkstoherneighbors.Soon,theyallenjoyMr.Benson'sdeliciouscakeseveryweekendattheirdinners.5.（2024?涼州區校級模擬）Anotherschoolyearwasbeginning.Ihadthirteenexcitedfirstgraderseagertolearnandreadytofillmyclassroomwithlaughs,tears,andeverything.IrealizedthatIhadasmallclasssizeandgotexcitedaboutthespecialprojectswecoulddo.OneprojectthatIhadbeenparticularlyinterestedinwasfindingadoctorinDoctorsWithoutBordersasapenpalformystudents,whichcoulddefinitelybroadenmystudents'horizons.Ibeganbysendingoutane﹣mailtoourschooldistrictemployeesaskingfornamesandcontactinformationofanydoctorinDoctorsWithoutBorderswhichtheyknewof.Isentane﹣mailtoeachoneaskingifwecouldcommunicatewiththem,butonlyonereplycame：Dr.Denisar,whowasinAfricaforhumanitarianmedicalwork.Sincesix﹣year﹣olds'attentionspanswereshortandmanyofthestudentswerejustlearninghowtoreadandwrite,Ithoughtitwouldbethebesttocorrespondthroughe﹣mail.Dr.Denisarquicklybecamearewardsystem.Ifstudentspracticedandcouldreadabookfluently,Iwouldrecorditande﹣mailit.Iftheyfinishedawritingassignment,Iwouldscanitande﹣mailit.Ifstudentsweremisbehaving,Icaughtmyselfsaying,"WhatwouldDr.Denisarthinkaboutthat？"WealsousedtheinformationDr.Denisarincludedinhise﹣mailsaslearningopportunities.Aswecommunicatedwithhim,welearnedmoreabouthim,aswellashismissionsfromdiseaseoutbreakstomalnutritionofthelocals.Westartedtolightenthingsupbyrecordingsongsandjokes,andsendingartprojectsandcarepackages.Heappreciatedthecommunication.AfterDr.Denisarreturned,wecontinuedtocommunicatewithhim,asmystudentshadgotquiteattached.HepromisedthathewouldmakeatriptooursmalltowninIllinoistomeetmyclasswhenhecould.TheschoolyearwasbeginningtowrapupwhenhecontactedmeinAprilaboutcominguptovisitinMay.Forthefirsttime,webegantalkingonthephoneabouthisvisit.注意：（1）續寫詞數應為150左右；（2）請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Asthedayofhisvisitapproached,thekidsbegantogetnervous._____Awholemorninghadpassedbeforeweknewit._________【參考答案】1.Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.Hewenttoashop,boughtwhatheneededandhurriedtothedestinationwherethecompetitionwasbeingheld.Seatedinthehall,Johnwasquitenervousinitiallybutashestarteddrawing,hewascompletelylostinhiscreationofart.Oneminutebeforetheend,avividpictureofalivelyforestappearedonthepaper.Havingsubmittedit,Johnheadedhomecheerfullyonlytoseehismother'sangryface.Heexplainedhe'dratherskiplunchthroughthenextmonththangiveuptheopportunity,whichlefthismomworriedandspeechless.Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn'shome.Itwasfromthecompetitionorganizer,whoinformedJohn'smomthatJohnhadwonthefirstprizeworthof＄300andchancestogethisartworkdisplayedonexhibitions.Hismotherlistened,eyeswideinawe.Neverhadsheexpectedhersonshouldhavesuchatalentandperformance!Guilty,shethrewherarmsaroundhim,"Son,I'msosorry.Ialmostruinedyourdream…"Shechocked."Mom,I'llneverletyoudown.Believeme!"Johnassuredher.Fromthenon,withhismom'sfullsupport,Johnstrivedforexcellenceinhischosenfield.2.Istuckoutmyarmsandlegshopelessly,grabbingatanything.Iwasoverwhelmedwithfearandregret.IfonlyIhadbeenmorecareful!Iforcedmyselftocalmdown,pressingmyselfagainsttheslopetoslowdown.Fortunately,afewminuteslater,Icametoastoponashallowincline.Myclotheswereshredded,myhelmetwasbroken,andmyfacewasbloodiedfromcutsandscratches.Imadeanattempttostandupbutinvain.Unabletomoveaninchfurther,Ilayontheiceshiveringandinpain,waitingforrescue.AsMelmadeherwaydown,Iyelledforhelp,andotherclimberscametomyrescue.Withthemrushingtowardme,Isighedwithrelief.Theymadegreateffortstorelievemeofthesuffering.SomeofferedtosplintmylegandsomecalledPortlandMountainRescuewhileMelstayedbymyside,huggingmetightlytokeepmewarmerandlesspainful.SoexperiencedandcomfortingweretheythatIwasnolongerasfrightenedasbefore.Eventually,Iwassenttothehospital.Istayedforalongtime.However,onmyrecovery,withgreatercautionandbetterpreparationsIreturnedonthetrails.3.Thegirlsweretheonlyonesatthewater'sedge.Withouthesitation,theyturnedtheirsurfboardbacktowardthesea,determinedtofindRobert.EmmapaddledwhileZoekeptawatchfuleyeforanysignofRobert.Thecurrentwasstillstrong,butthegirlspersevered,knowingthateverysecondcounted.Afterafewtenseminutes,theyspottedRobertstrugglingagainstthewaves.Emmaquicklymaneuveredthesurfboardtowardshim,andwithZoe'sassistance,theymanagedtopullhimontotheboard.Finally,theymadeittoshore.BelindaandRobertwerebothexhaustedbutrelievedtobesafe.Theyhuggedthegirlstightly,tearsofgratitudestreamingdowntheirfaces.Thelocalswhohadwitnessedtheordealapplaudedthebraveactionsofthetwoteenagegirls.EmmaandZoesmiledshyly,happythattheyhadbeenabletohelp.Theincidenthadstrengthenedtheirbondwiththeisland,andtheyleftBarbados