讀后續寫EnglishContinuationWriting模擬題football主講人：考情分析能基本讀懂故事，對原文本分析不夠具體到位。寫作情節偏離，邏輯混亂，銜接不恰當，句式簡單，描寫生硬。教學目標通過故事要素分析，引導學生深度解析文本，幫助學生理順情節發展，抓住人物核心性格，確保學生續寫情節符合邏輯。通過主述位推進幫助學生搭建文章邏輯結構，解決學生無話可寫的問題。通過提供語料，作文互批表，明確批改潤色要求，反復練習，指導學生寫出更自然合理銜接得當的作文。文本分析part1Whichonedoyouprefer?Why?Mariawaspracticingwithhersoccermatesinatinyschoolyard.TheywereallfromRiverEdgeRockers,asoccerteamoftheircommunity.Suddenly,theballflewintoadeepholeattheedgeoftheyard.Itwasthethirdtimethattheyhadlosttheirballthismonth.WithouttheballMariahadtowavegoodbyetohermatesandwenthome,depressed.“Ifonlytherewerearegulationsoccerfield!”shethought.

01Thatevening,seeingherlowspirits,herfatherasked,“Whatwasthematter,dear?”“Iwasjustthinkingaboutplayinginabrandnewsoccerfield!”

Mariaanswered.Herfathersmiledandsaid,“Tomorrow,aTownCouncilmeetingistobeheldtodiscussabouttheuseofthatvacant(空著的)lotnexttothepetstore,HomeforPets.Whynottakethisopportunitytoconvincethemweneedabetterfield?”020304Thenextday,withthecompanyofherfather,Mariaandherteammateswenttothemeetinghall.OntheirarrivaltheysawCouncilwomanJillandsomecitizensalreadythere.Theytooktheirseats.AfterJillannouncedthestartofthediscussion,Mariastoodupandspokefirst.“Uptillnowthereisnosoccerfieldinourcommunity,whichcertainlyaffectsourphysicalhealth.Ourteamcurrentlyhavetopracticeinatinyschoolyard,andonlywhenit’snotalreadybooked.”05Mrs.

Lorries,ownerofthepetstore,commented,“Icouldn’tagreemore.Kidsdoneedsuchafield.”TheRockersapplaudedexcitedlyandtheothercitizensallagreeditwouldbeawayout.“Asoccerfieldwouldbeagooduseforthatlotwithovergrownweedsandsomelargerocks,buttobuildsuchonewouldneedasmallsumofmoneyandmaybeyouevenneedtodoalltheworkonyourown.”

CouncilwomanJillsmiled,“Canyoumanageit?”0607Thinkingforawhile,Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface,“TheRockerscandoit!Wewillturnitintoasoccerfield.”Theteammatesallcheered.08thatnightfootballfieldMariaherteammatesfatherJillMrs.LorriesMariaandherteammateswantanewfootballfield.故事要素WhenWhereWhat Who WhythenextmorningthemeetinghallRereadthestoryandfigureouttheplot.Mariawantedanewfootballfield.(Maria)depressedMaria’sdadsuggestedanideatoMaria.(Maria)unknownMariaandotherpeoplediscussedtheuseofthevacantlot.(Maria)excited;determined續寫部分續寫部分本文情節線setting環境risingaction發展fallingaction結局climax高潮人物時間地點Maria想要有一個新的足球場，她爸爸提議可以考慮寵物店旁邊的空地。Maria提議把寵物店旁邊的空地建為新足球場。Maria和她的隊友需要自己籌集資金并準備足球場。本文情節線setting環境risingaction發展fallingaction結局climax高潮人物時間地點Maria想要有一個新的足球場，她爸爸提議可以考慮寵物店旁邊的空地。Maria提議把寵物店空地建為新足球場。Maria和她的隊友需要自己籌集資金并準備足球場。resolution解決ending尾聲續寫部分續寫部分depressedexciteddeterminedMariaAfterJillannouncedthestartofthediscussion,Mariastoodupandspokefirst.confidentMariaThinkingforawhile,Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface,“TheRockerscandoit!Wewillturnitintoasoccerfield.”determinedMaria’sdadThatevening,seeingherlowspirits,herfatherasked,

“Whatwasthematter,dear?”carefulMaria’sdadThenextday,withthecompanyofherfather,Mariaandherteammateswenttothemeetinghall.careful篇章概括者SummarizerMaria想要一個新的足球場，她爸爸建議她可以在鎮議會上提議。在會上，Maria提出了想法，得到了同意。第二天，隊員商量如何籌錢...Mariawantedanewfootballfield.HisfathersuggestedthatsheshouldproposetheideaintheTownCouncilmeeting.Inthemeeting,Mariaputforwardheridea,whichwasagreed.Thefollowingday,theteammatesdiscussedhowtoraisemoney...寫作構架part2平行性延續性三種敘述模式交叉性模擬題足球場Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgot

togethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.01Manyideasweresuggested.02Oneideawasagreed.03Theteammatesmadeeffortsandgotthemoney.Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.PlotDesignParagraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.

Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingdayswitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.模擬題足球場Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.01Theteamworkedtogetherinthevacantlot.02Anewsoccerfieldappeared.03Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.PlotDesignParagraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.

Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.平行敘述0102030405Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.平行敘述0102030405Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.平行敘述0102030405Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.潤色批改part3詞匯潤色Suddenly,theballflewintoadeepholeattheedgeoftheyard.TheRockersapplaudedexcitedly.Thefollowingdayswitnessedtheireffortsfeeding,washingandwalkingdogs.一般動詞細節動詞詞匯潤色Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.一般動詞細節動詞詞匯潤色TheRockersapplaudedexcitedly.CouncilwomanJillsmiled.Marianoddedwith

adeterminedlookonherface.“Wemadeit!”

theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.情緒狀態身體表征詞匯潤色“Iwasjustthinkingaboutplayinginabrandnew

soccerfield!”Mariaanswered.Marianoddedwithadetermined

lookonherface.Holdinga

smallspade,...缺少形容豐富形容詞匯潤色TheRockersapplaudedexcitedly.Ourteam

currently

haveto...theywerehandsomely

rewarded副詞單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Withouttheball

Mariahadtowavegoodbyetohermates.Thenextday,withthecompanyofherfather,Mariaandherteammateswenttothemeetinghall.Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface.theyexclaimed

withlaughter...介詞短語單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Thatevening,seeingherlowspirits,herfatherasked,...Thinkingforawhile,Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface,...非謂語動詞單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Seeingthefieldcoveredwithdirt,rubble,andweeds,Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.非謂語動詞單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.非謂語動詞單一狀語多樣狀語Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.Performances,carwashandevenjewelrysaleweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.【1】SuddenlyanideapoppedintoMaria’smind.【2】Shethrilled,herarmsflapping,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”【3】Allherteammatesnoddedtheirconsentasitmeantfund-raisingbyattendingtocutedogs.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.【4】Thefollowingdayswitnessedseveralsmallfiguresfeeding,washingandwalkingdogs,forwhichtheywerehandsomelyrewarded.細節動作popin描寫突然又了一個想法Paragraph1SuddenlyanideapoppedintoMaria’smind.01細節動作herarmsflapping寫出Maria動作身體表征shrill,herarmsflapping描寫了Maria激動的心情多樣狀語herarmsflapping為獨立主格作狀語Shethrilled,herarmsflapping,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”02Paragraph1細節動作nod描寫隊員的動作身體表征nodtheirconsent描寫大家都一致贊同Allherteammatesnoddedtheirconsentasitmeantfund-raisingbyattendingtocutedogs.03Paragraph1細節動作feeding,washing,walkingdogs描寫了隊員為籌錢做的事多樣狀語handsomely副詞作狀語Thefollowingdayswitnessedseveralsmallfiguresfeeding,washingandwalkingdogs,forwhichtheywerehandsomelyrewarded.04Paragraph1Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.【1】Seeingthefieldcoveredwithdirt,rubble,andweeds,Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.【2】Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.【3】Withalayerofturfrolledoutaswellasthenetssetup,asoccerfieldwasreadytopresentitself.【4】“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.細節動作kick,pluck,scoop,deposit描寫了Maria清理操場的動作身體表征kick,pluck,scoop,deposit描寫了Maria清理操場的認真多樣狀語plucking,scooping,depositing現在分詞做狀語Paragraph2Seeingthefieldcoveredwithdirt,rubble,andweeds,Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.01Paragraph2Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.02細節動作remove,hold,flatten描寫了大家的動作身體表征remove,hold,flatten描寫了大家清理操場的認真多樣狀語removingalargerocks現在分詞作狀語Paragraph2Withalayerofturfrolledoutaswellasthenetssetup,asoccerfieldwasreadytopresentitself.03細節動作rollout,setup描寫了草皮被鋪、網被拉起來的細節動作多樣狀語with結構作狀語Paragraph2“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.04身體特征exclaim描寫了隊員的激動多樣狀語with結構作狀語Performances,carwashandevenjewelrysaleweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.SuddenlyanideapoppedintoMaria’smind.0102復合句簡單句Paragraph1Shethrilled,herarmsflapping,

“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesnoddedtheirconsentasitmea