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Chapter7

MyfirstquarteratLowoodseemedanage;andnotthegoldenageeither;itcomprisedanirksomestrugglewithdifficultiesinhabituatingmyselftonewrulesandunwontedtasks.Thefearoffailureinthesepointsharassedmeworsethanthephysicalhardshipsofmylot;thoughthesewerenotrifles.

DuringJanuary,February,andpartofMarch,thedeepsnows,and,aftertheirmelting,thealmostimpassableroads,preventedourstirringbeyondthegardenwalls,excepttogotochurch;butwithintheselimitswehadtopassanhoureverydayintheopenair.Ourclothingwasinsufficienttoprotectusfromtheseverecold:wehadnoboots,thesnowgotintoourshoesandmeltedthere:ourunglovedhandsbecamenumbedandcoveredwithchilblains,aswereourfeet:IrememberwellthedistractingirritationIenduredfromthiscauseeveryevening,whenmyfeetinflamed;andthetortureofthrustingtheswelled,raw,andstifftoesintomyshoesinthemorning.Thenthescantysupplyoffoodwasdistressing:withthekeenappetitesofgrowingchildren,wehadscarcelysufficienttokeepaliveadelicateinvalid.Fromthisdeficiencyofnourishmentresultedanabuse,whichpressedhardlyontheyoungerpupils:wheneverthefamishedgreatgirlshadanopportunity,theywouldcoaxormenacethelittleonesoutoftheirportion.ManyatimeIhavesharedbetweentwoclaimantsthepreciousmorselofbrownbreaddistributedattea-time;andafterrelinquishingtoathirdhalfthecontentsofmymugofcoffee,Ihave

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swallowedtheremainderwithanaccompanimentofsecrettears,forcedfrommebytheexigencyofhunger.

Sundaysweredrearydaysinthatwintryseason.WehadtowalktwomilestoBrocklebridgeChurch,whereourpatronofficiated.Wesetoutcold,wearrivedatchurchcolder:duringthemorningservicewebecamealmostparalysed.Itwastoofartoreturntodinner,andanallowanceofcoldmeatandbread,inthesamepenuriousproportionobservedinourordinarymeals,wasservedroundbetweentheservices.

Atthecloseoftheafternoonservicewereturnedbyanexposedandhillyroad,wherethebitterwinterwind,blowingoverarangeofsnowysummitstothenorth,almostflayedtheskinfromourfaces.

IcanrememberMissTemplewalkinglightlyandrapidlyalongourdroopingline,herplaidcloak,whichthefrostywindfluttered,gatheredcloseabouther,andencouragingus,bypreceptandexample,tokeepupourspirits,andmarchforward,asshesaid,“likestalwartsoldiers.”Theotherteachers,poorthings,weregenerallythemselvestoomuchdejectedtoattemptthetaskofcheeringothers.

Howwelongedforthelightandheatofablazingfirewhenwegotback!But,tothelittleonesatleast,thiswasdenied:eachhearthintheschoolroomwasimmediatelysurroundedbyadoublerowofgreatgirls,andbehindthemtheyoungerchildrencrouchedingroups,wrappingtheirstarvedarmsintheirpinafores.

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Alittlesolacecameattea-time,intheshapeofadoublerationofbread—awhole,insteadofahalf,slice—withthedeliciousadditionofathinscrapeofbutter:itwasthehebdomadaltreattowhichwealllookedforwardfromSabbathtoSabbath.Igenerallycontrivedtoreserveamoietyofthisbounteousrepastformyself;buttheremainderIwasinvariablyobligedtopartwith.

TheSundayeveningwasspentinrepeating,byheart,theChurchCatechism,andthefifth,sixth,andseventhchaptersofSt.Matthew;andinlisteningtoalongsermon,readbyMissMiller,whoseirrepressibleyawnsattestedherweariness.AfrequentinterludeoftheseperformanceswastheenactmentofthepartofEutychusbysomehalf-dozenoflittlegirls,who,overpoweredwithsleep,wouldfalldown,ifnotoutofthethirdloft,yetoffthefourthform,andbetakenuphalfdead.Theremedywas,tothrustthemforwardintothecentreoftheschoolroom,andobligethemtostandtheretillthesermonwasfinished.Sometimestheirfeetfailedthem,andtheysanktogetherinaheap;theywerethenproppedupwiththemonitors’highstools.

IhavenotyetalludedtothevisitsofMr.Brocklehurst;andindeedthatgentlemanwasfromhomeduringthegreaterpartofthefirstmonthaftermyarrival;perhapsprolonginghisstaywithhisfriendthearchdeacon:hisabsencewasarelieftome.IneednotsaythatIhadmyownreasonsfordreadinghiscoming:butcomehedidatlast.

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Oneafternoon(IhadthenbeenthreeweeksatLowood),asIwassittingwithaslateinmyhand,puzzlingoverasuminlongdivision,myeyes,raisedinabstractiontothewindow,caughtsightofafigurejustpassing:Irecognisedalmostinstinctivelythatgauntoutline;andwhen,twominutesafter,alltheschool,teachersincluded,roseenmasse,itwasnotnecessaryformetolookupinordertoascertainwhoseentrancetheythusgreeted.Alongstridemeasuredtheschoolroom,andpresentlybesideMissTemple,whoherselfhadrisen,stoodthesameblackcolumnwhichhadfrownedonmesoominouslyfromthehearthrugofGateshead.Inowglancedsidewaysatthispieceofarchitecture.Yes,Iwasright:itwasMr.Brocklehurst,buttonedupinasurtout,andlookinglonger,narrower,andmorerigidthanever.

Ihadmyownreasonsforbeingdismayedatthisapparition;toowellIrememberedtheperfidioushintsgivenbyMrs.Reedaboutmydisposition,&c.;thepromisepledgedbyMr.BrocklehursttoappriseMissTempleandtheteachersofmyviciousnature.AllalongIhadbeendreadingthefulfilmentofthispromise,—Ihadbeenlookingoutdailyforthe“ComingMan,”whoseinformationrespectingmypastlifeandconversationwastobrandmeasabadchildforever:nowtherehewas.

HestoodatMissTemple’sside;hewasspeakinglowinherear:Ididnotdoubthewasmakingdisclosuresofmyvillainy;andIwatchedhereyewithpainfulanxiety,expectingeverymomenttoseeitsdarkorb

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turnonmeaglanceofrepugnanceandcontempt.Ilistenedtoo;andasIhappenedtobeseatedquiteatthetopoftheroom,Icaughtmostofwhathesaid:itsimportrelievedmefromimmediateapprehension.

“Isuppose,MissTemple,thethreadIboughtatLowtonwilldo;itstruckmethatitwouldbejustofthequalityforthecalicochemises,andIsortedtheneedlestomatch.YoumaytellMissSmiththatIforgottomakeamemorandumofthedarningneedles,butsheshallhavesomepaperssentinnextweek;andsheisnot,onanyaccount,togiveoutmorethanoneatatimetoeachpupil:iftheyhavemore,theyareapttobecarelessandlosethem.And,Oma’am!Iwishthewoollenstockingswerebetterlookedto!—whenIwasherelast,Iwentintothekitchen-gardenandexaminedtheclothesdryingontheline;therewasaquantityofblackhoseinaverybadstateofrepair:fromthesizeoftheholesinthemIwassuretheyhadnotbeenwell

mendedfromtimetotime.”

Hepaused.

“Yourdirectionsshallbeattendedto,sir,”saidMissTemple.

“And,ma’am,”hecontinued,“thelaundresstellsmesomeofthegirlshavetwocleantuckersintheweek:itistoomuch;theruleslimitthemtoone.”

“IthinkIcanexplainthatcircumstance,sir.AgnesandCatherineJohnstonewereinvitedtotaketeawithsome

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friendsatLowtonlastThursday,andIgavethemleave

toputoncleantuckersfortheoccasion.”

Mr.Brocklehurstnodded.

“Well,foronceitmaypass;butpleasenottoletthecircumstanceoccurtoooften.Andthereisanotherthingwhichsurprisedme;Ifind,insettlingaccountswiththehousekeeper,thatalunch,consistingofbreadandcheese,hastwicebeenservedouttothegirlsduringthepastfortnight.Howisthis?Ilookedovertheregulations,andIfindnosuchmealaslunchmentioned.Whointroducedthisinnovation?andbywhatauthority?”

“Imustberesponsibleforthecircumstance,sir,”repliedMissTemple:“thebreakfastwassoillpreparedthatthepupilscouldnotpossiblyeatit;andIdarednotallowthemtoremainfastingtilldinner-time.”

“Madam,allowmeaninstant.Youareawarethatmyplaninbringingupthesegirlsis,nottoaccustomthemtohabitsofluxuryandindulgence,buttorenderthemhardy,patient,self-denying.Shouldanylittleaccidentaldisappointmentoftheappetiteoccur,suchasthespoilingofameal,theunderortheoverdressingofadish,theincidentoughtnottobeneutralisedbyreplacingwithsomethingmoredelicatethecomfortlost,thuspamperingthebodyandobviatingtheaimofthisinstitution;itoughttobeimprovedtothespiritualedificationofthepupils,byencouragingthemtoevincefortitudeundertemporaryprivation.Abriefaddressonthoseoccasionswouldnotbemistimed,

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whereinajudiciousinstructorwouldtaketheopportunityofreferringtothesufferingsoftheprimitiveChristians;tothetormentsofmartyrs;totheexhortationsofourblessedLordHimself,callinguponHisdisciplestotakeuptheircrossandfollowHim;toHiswarningsthatmanshallnotlivebybreadalone,butbyeverywordthatproceedethoutofthemouthofGod;toHisdivineconsolations,“IfyesufferhungerorthirstforMysake,happyareye.”Oh,madam,whenyouputbreadandcheese,insteadofburntporridge,intothesechildren’smouths,youmayindeedfeedtheirvilebodies,butyoulittlethinkhowyoustarvetheirimmortalsouls!”

Mr.Brocklehurstagainpaused—perhapsovercomebyhisfeelings.MissTemplehadlookeddownwhenhefirstbegantospeaktoher;butshenowgazedstraightbeforeher,andherface,naturallypaleasmarble,appearedtobeassumingalsothecoldnessandfixityofthatmaterial;especiallyhermouth,closedasifitwouldhaverequiredasculptor’schiseltoopenit,andherbrowsettledgraduallyintopetrifiedseverity.

Meantime,Mr.Brocklehurst,standingonthehearthwithhishandsbehindhisback,majesticallysurveyedthewholeschool.Suddenlyhiseyegaveablink,asifithadmetsomethingthateitherdazzledorshockeditspupil;turning,hesaidinmorerapidaccentsthanhehadhithertoused-

“MissTemple,MissTemple,what—WHATisthatgirlwithcurledhair?Redhair,ma’am,curled—curledall

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over?”Andextendinghiscanehepointedtotheawfulobject,hishandshakingashedidso.

“ItisJuliaSevern,”repliedMissTemple,veryquietly.

“JuliaSevern,ma’am!Andwhyhasshe,oranyother,curledhair?Why,indefianceofeverypreceptandprincipleofthishouse,doessheconformtotheworldsoopenly—hereinanevangelical,charitableestablishment—astowearherhaironemassofcurls?”

“Julia’shaircurlsnaturally,”returnedMissTemple,stillmorequietly.

“Naturally!Yes,butwearenottoconformtonature;IwishthesegirlstobethechildrenofGrace:andwhythatabundance?IhaveagainandagainintimatedthatIdesirethehairtobearrangedclosely,modestly,plainly.MissTemple,thatgirl’shairmustbecutoffentirely;Iwillsendabarberto-morrow:andIseeotherswhohavefartoomuchoftheexcrescence—thattallgirl,tellhertoturnround.Tellallthefirstformtoriseupanddirecttheirfacestothewall.”

MissTemplepassedherhandkerchiefoverherlips,asiftosmoothawaytheinvoluntarysmilethatcurledthem;shegavetheorder,however,andwhenthefirstclasscouldtakeinwhatwasrequiredofthem,theyobeyed.Leaningalittlebackonmybench,Icouldseethelooksandgrimaceswithwhichtheycommentedonthismanoeuvre:itwasapityMr.Brocklehurstcouldnotseethemtoo;hewouldperhapshavefeltthat,whateverhemightdowiththeoutsideofthecupand

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platter,theinsidewasfurtherbeyondhisinterferencethanheimagined.

Hescrutinisedthereverseoftheselivingmedalssomefiveminutes,thenpronouncedsentence.Thesewords

fellliketheknellofdoom-

“Allthosetop-knotsmustbecutoff.”

MissTempleseemedtoremonstrate.

“Madam,”hepursued,“IhaveaMastertoservewhosekingdomisnotofthisworld:mymissionistomortifyinthesegirlsthelustsoftheflesh;toteachthemtoclothethemselveswithshame-facednessandsobriety,notwithbraidedhairandcostlyapparel;andeachoftheyoungpersonsbeforeushasastringofhairtwistedinplaitswhichvanityitselfmighthavewoven;these,Irepeat,mustbecutoff;thinkofthetimewasted,of—“

Mr.Brocklehurstwashereinterrupted:threeothervisitors,ladies,nowenteredtheroom.Theyoughttohavecomealittlesoonertohaveheardhislectureondress,fortheyweresplendidlyattiredinvelvet,silk,andfurs.Thetwoyoungerofthetrio(finegirlsofsixteenandseventeen)hadgreybeaverhats,theninfashion,shadedwithostrichplumes,andfromunderthebrimofthisgracefulhead-dressfellaprofusionoflighttresses,elaboratelycurled;theelderladywasenvelopedinacostlyvelvetshawl,trimmedwithermine,andsheworeafalsefrontofFrenchcurls.

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TheseladiesweredeferentiallyreceivedbyMissTemple,asMrs.andtheMissesBrocklehurst,andconductedtoseatsofhonouratthetopoftheroom.Itseemstheyhadcomeinthecarriagewiththeirreverendrelative,andhadbeenconductingarummagingscrutinyoftheroomupstairs,whilehetransactedbusinesswiththehousekeeper,questionedthelaundress,andlecturedthesuperintendent.TheynowproceededtoaddressdiversremarksandreproofstoMissSmith,whowaschargedwiththecareofthelinenandtheinspectionofthedormitories:butIhadnotimetolistentowhattheysaid;othermatterscalledoffandenchantedmyattention.

Hitherto,whilegatheringupthediscourseofMr.BrocklehurstandMissTemple,Ihadnot,atthesametime,neglectedprecautionstosecuremypersonalsafety;whichIthoughtwouldbeeffected,ifIcouldonlyeludeobservation.Tothisend,Ihadsatwellbackontheform,andwhileseemingtobebusywithmysum,hadheldmyslateinsuchamannerastoconcealmyface:Imighthaveescapednotice,hadnotmytreacherousslatesomehowhappenedtoslipfrommyhand,andfallingwithanobtrusivecrash,directlydrawneveryeyeuponme;Iknewitwasallovernow,and,asIstoopedtopickupthetwofragmentsofslate,Iralliedmyforcesfortheworst.Itcame.

“Acarelessgirl!”saidMr.Brocklehurst,andimmediatelyafter—“Itisthenewpupil,Iperceive.”AndbeforeIcoulddrawbreath,“ImustnotforgetIhaveawordtosayrespectingher.”Thenaloud:how

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louditseemedtome!“Letthechildwhobrokeherslatecomeforward!”

OfmyownaccordIcouldnothavestirred;Iwasparalysed:butthetwogreatgirlswhositoneachsideofme,setmeonmylegsandpushedmetowardsthedreadjudge,andthenMissTemplegentlyassistedmetohisveryfeet,andIcaughtherwhisperedcounsel-

“Don’tbeafraid,Jane,Isawitwasanaccident;youshallnotbepunished.”

Thekindwhisperwenttomyheartlikeadagger.

“Anotherminute,andshewilldespisemeforahypocrite,”thoughtI;andanimpulseoffuryagainstReed,Brocklehurst,andCo.boundedinmypulsesattheconviction.IwasnoHelenBurns.

“Fetchthatstool,”saidMr.Brocklehurst,pointingtoaveryhighonefromwhichamonitorhadjustrisen:itwasbrought.

“Placethechilduponit.”

AndIwasplacedthere,bywhomIdon’tknow:Iwasinnoconditiontonoteparticulars;IwasonlyawarethattheyhadhoistedmeuptotheheightofMr.Brocklehurst’snose,thathewaswithinayardofme,andthataspreadofshotorangeandpurplesilkpelissesandacloudofsilveryplumageextendedandwavedbelowme.

Mr.Brocklehursthemmed.

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“Ladies,”saidhe,turningtohisfamily,“MissTemple,teachers,andchildren,youallseethisgirl?”

Ofcoursetheydid;forIfelttheireyesdirectedlikeburning-glassesagainstmyscorchedskin.

“Youseesheisyetyoung;youobserveshepossessestheordinaryformofchildhood;GodhasgraciouslygivenhertheshapethatHehasgiventoallofus;nosignaldeformitypointsheroutasamarkedcharacter.WhowouldthinkthattheEvilOnehadalreadyfoundaservantandagentinher?Yetsuch,Igrievetosay,isthecase.”

Apause—inwhichIbegantosteadythepalsyofmynerves,andtofeelthattheRubiconwaspassed;andthatthetrial,nolongertobeshirked,mustbefirmlysustained.

“Mydearchildren,”pursuedtheblackmarbleclergyman,withpathos,“thisisasad,amelancholyoccasion;foritbecomesmydutytowarnyou,thatthisgirl,whomightbeoneofGod’sownlambs,isalittlecastaway:notamemberofthetrueflock,butevidentlyaninterloperandanalien.Youmustbeonyourguardagainsther;youmustshunherexample;ifnecessary,avoidhercompany,excludeherfromyoursports,andshutheroutfromyourconverse.Teachers,youmustwatchher:keepyoureyesonhermovements,weighwellherwords,scrutiniseheractions,punishherbodytosavehersoul:if,indeed,suchsalvationbepossible,for(mytonguefalterswhileItellit)thisgirl,thischild,thenativeofaChristianland,worsethanmanyalittle

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heathenwhosaysitsprayerstoBrahmaandkneelsbeforeJuggernaut—thisgirlis—aliar!”

Nowcameapauseoftenminutes,duringwhichI,bythistimeinperfectpossessionofmywits,observedallthefemaleBrocklehurstsproducetheirpocket-handkerchiefsandapplythemtotheiroptics,whiletheelderlyladyswayedherselftoandfro,andthetwoyoungeroneswhispered,“Howshocking!”Mr.Brocklehurstresumed.

“ThisIlearnedfromherbenefactress;fromthepiousandcharitableladywhoadoptedherinherorphanstate,rearedherasherowndaughter,andwhosekindness,whosegenerositytheunhappygirlrepaidbyaningratitudesobad,sodreadful,thatatlastherexcellentpatronesswasobligedtoseparateherfromherownyoungones,fearfullestherviciousexampleshouldcontaminatetheirpurity:shehassentherheretobehealed,evenastheJewsofoldsenttheirdiseasedtothetroubledpoolofBethesda;and,teachers,supe