讀后續寫指導課件第二節讀后續寫

(滿分25分)閱讀下面短文，根據所給情節進行續寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

ThereAreNoVansTome,whatThanksgivingreallymeansisgivinggoodthanks,noteatingturkey.BythetimeIwas18IhadcreatedmyThanksgivingritual(慣例).Iwouldgooutshoppingandbuyenoughfoodforoneortwofamilies.ThenIwoulddresslikeadeliveryboy,gotothepoorestneighborhoodandjustknockonadoor,andwouldalwaysincludeanotesaying“AllthatIaskinreturnisthatyoutakegoodenoughcareofyourselfsothatsomedayyoucandothesamethingforsomeoneelse.”IhavereceivedmorefromthisannualritualthanIhavefromanyamountofmoneyI’veeverearned,especiallyonesuchexperienceinNewYorkCity.SeveralyearsagoIwasinNewYorkCitywithmynewlymarriedwifeduringThanksgiving.Shewassadbecausewewerenotwithourfamily.NormallyshewouldbehomedecoratingthehouseforChristmas,butwewerestuckhereinahotelroom.Isaid,“Honey,look,whydon’twedecoratesomelivestodayinsteadofsometrees?”WhenItoldherwhatIalwaysdoonThanksgiving,shegotexcited.Isaid,“Let’sgosomeplacewherewecanreallyappreciatewhoweare,whatweareabletodoandwhatwecanreallygive.Let’sgotothepoorneighborhoodHarlemandfeedsomepeoplethereinneed.We’llgobuyenoughfoodforsixorsevenfamiliesfor30days.We’vegotenough.Let’sgodoit!”

Westartedbygettingavan(貨車),butthereseemednovansinallofNewYorkCity.Therent-a-carplaceswerealloutofvans.Mywifewasdisappointed,andIsaid,“Look,thebottomlineisthatifwewantsomething,wecanmakeithappen!Allwehavetodoistakeaction.ThereareplentyofvanshereinNewYorkCity.Lookdownatthestreet.Doyouseeallthosevans?Let’sgogetone!”Mywifeagreedandwetookaction.Knowthestory--elementsCharactersTimePlaceEventanexperienceinNewYorkCitytosearchvans.mywife,I,thedriverduringThanksgiving(the4thThursdayinNov.)NewYorkCityWhywereweinneedofvans?Whatdoesthewriterintendtotellus?Littlepeoplecanmakeabigdifference.Afriendinneedisafriendindeed.Nothingisimpossibleforawillingheart.Onegoodturndeservesanother....kindnessovertplotSettingIncitingincidentRisingactionClimaxFallingactionResolutionDenouementEventsA.Weneededavanforloadingsupplies.B.Wetriedourchanceatthestreet.C.Wewenttotherent-a-carplacesforgettingavan,butinvain.D.StuckinahotelduringThanksgivingwedecidedtohelppeopleinHarlem.DACBKnowthestory--plotCovertplotTimeEventsMoodBeforewemadeaplanMywifeandIwere_____inahotelShefelt________WhenwemadeaplanItoldher_______________Wedecidedto_____________Shegot________AfterwemadeaplanWestartedbygetting_____,butfound___________________;Iadvisedto______________Shewas________stucksadmyThanksgivingritualexcitedgotothepoorHarlemandbuyfoodforthemavanthereseemednovansavailabledisappointedtakeachanceinthestreetsWeavethestoryParagraph1:Wetriedstoppingvansastheyweredrivingdownthestreet.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Eventuallyavandroveupandthedriversaidyes.________________________________________________________________________________

劃線詞分類CharacterwifeSettingThanksgiving;food;experience;Harlem;inneed;vanActionbuy;knockMooddisappointedEvent:Mood:Event:Mood:stucktoldstartedsadexciteddisappointedattempttogetavan---invaindisappointed/hopeless

succeedingettingavandelighted/excited話題詞塊/表達表示失望：嘆氣Shesighedheavily.Afterseveralfruitlessattempts,mywifeletoutalongsigh.跺腳Mywifestampedherfootindespair.

Staringatthevanszoomingpastus,mywifetrembledwithrage.皺眉“Whocanweturnhelpto?”mywifemurmuredwithafiercefrown.緊皺眉頭顫抖Mywifegaveamiserableshrug.

沮喪地聳了聳肩聳肩目光呆滯Shelookedblankinamoment.目光呆滯蹣跚Withadazedlookonourface,westaggeredaway.苦笑Shesmiledasadsmile.失望地看Mywifedarted/castafrustratedlookatme.低頭Ilookedmywifeindesperation.絕望地Shebowedherheadandsaidnothing.搖頭Shejustshookherheadin

hopelessness.哭Tearsofgrievance(委屈)/?ɡri?v?ns/cameintohereyeswhenshesawthemleft.表示失望：心跳加快Myheartthumpedfiercelyinmychest,tensionoverwhelmingmeentirelyinitspower.表示高興：尖叫Hearingthewords,mywifeshriekedwithexcitement激動的尖叫心跳Myheartthumpedwithexcitement.興奮地心直跳(表高興難以置信)Withashriekofdelight,Shehuggedme.擁抱握手Itookholdofhishands

gratefully.點頭Wenoddedgratefully.笑Hereyes

twinkledandherlipsbrokeintoabroadsmile.跳起來Hearingthesimpleyes,wealljumpedwithjoy.哭Weshedtearswithjoy.松口氣Atthismoment,webreathedasighofrelief.wewerewildwithexcitement/joy.wecouldhardlycontainourexcitement.weweredelightedbeyonddescription.wewerefloatingonair.wewerebesideourselves(極度興奮)withexcitement.webeamwithexcitement.Ourfacelitup.Ourheartwasthunderingwithexcitement.moreexpressionstoshowexcitementAwaveofhappinesssweptoverus.Asurgeofexcitementflashedintomyheart.Asenseofwarmthflowedinmybody.表示努力：用讓步狀語從句Wekeptonstrugglingforward,eventhough___________________

While_______________________________________,weneverlosthopeforanothertry.weknewitwashopeless.thepassingdriverszoomedpastuswithoutastop_________________________________(as),wecontinuedtowaveatthepassingcarsstubbornly.Wetoldourselvesrepeatedly________________________(however),wewouldn'tgiveintosetbacks.Disappointedandfatiguedaswewerehoweverpainstakingthetaskwas,

Inspiteof________________________,westillbelievedinmiracles.countlessfailures用非謂語表示努力：__________________________________________(berefused),wedecidedtotryonelasttime.Havingbeenrefusedmanytimes__________________________________(咬緊牙關),wepushedon.Grittingourteeth

用強調句__________________________________(妻子的鼓勵)gavemeanextraburstofenergy.迸發出額外的能量Itwasmywife'sencouragementthat

用倒裝結構_____________________________________________(never)Neverwouldwebedefeatedbytheplight表示努力：用虛擬語氣Wesummonedup/collectedup/pluckedup/musteredup/gatheredourcourageandyelledatthetopofourvoiceforthefearthat_____________________wewouldmissavan.用諺語Ourheartsankatthethoughtofourfailuretogetavan,butwetoldourselves________________________________.(絕不半途而廢)neverdoanythingbyhalves用“the+比較級，the+比較級”Weconstantlyconvinceourselvesthatthemore____________________________________________________.effortsweputin,theluckierwewouldbe.常見問題未理清人物關系：Harlem是地點不是人物書寫較差故事太過冗長拖沓未按要求劃線優秀習作22.5本文抓住了故事的中心矛盾——我們的努力和過往車輛的“無情”(turnablindeye/spedpass/drownourhope)構思和推動情節;用無靈主語和外貌描寫(fingersnumbed/throatchocked/red-rimmed)側面烘托了“我們”的無奈和無助。

結尾段用了時間狀語immediately/then/thatnight/when等有序地推進故事發展；并且用外部寒冷的環境跟內心感到的溫暖和熾熱作對比深化主題“atleastwecanofferourkindness”優秀習作20鄭子欣高三（1）該文使用了非謂語（wavingat...;）onlyto...；無靈主語(disappointmentcreptontomyface;Thegatheringgloomevendeepenedmyanxiety)牽動故事發展

文章第二段用了with復合結構“withbutterfliesinmystomach”、非謂語“Lookingat...”、獨立主格結構“tearsrollingdownourcheeks”形象地展示了故事結尾

傳遞愛心的感人至深的一幕。Apossibleversion:

Para1：We

tried

stopping

vans

as

they

were

driving

down

the

street.IlearnedsomethingaboutNewYorkdriversthatday:Theydon’tstop;theyspeedup.Thenwetriedwaitingbythelight.We’dgoover,knockonthewindowandthedriverwou